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trauma survivor

Day 61/90 – Not So Awesome Day

I’m glad I’m doing the 90 Days of Awesome, but if you haven’t noticed by now, not every day is stellar.  I had some awesome moments working with my clients today, but I’m also processing a lot of emotional issues too which is painful and draining.

Alone by Lee J Haywood from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

Alone by Lee J Haywood from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

For me, being a trauma survivor means going to 12-step meetings, being in therapy, taking medication and constantly being aware of depression, anxiety, and escapist behavior. And when I’m not avoid my feelings through escapism, I actually have to feel them. That can be really uncomfortable and painful for me – emotionally and physically painful. We were processing my feelings in therapy today and at one point I was shaky, curled up on my therapist’s couch, and feeling like a lumberjack stomped on my sternum. Needless to say, I was pretty drained after that, but it’s part of the process.

When I got home tonight I saw a post on Facebook that my friends got some really bad news. My heart goes out to their family.

On top of all that, I haven’t been sleeping well lately for several reasons. Last night I was so pumped and energized after being on News Now that it took a while to wind down. Even though I got to bed late, my alarm went off at its usual early hour and it was back to the grind. Thank goodness for coffee.

So what’s my plan for the weekend? I hope to take it easy. I have some chores, errands, and a bit of work to do, but for the most part, I hope to keep things mellow.

In Case You Missed It: Day 60 of the 90 Days of Awesome – I got to be on Fox 10 Phoenix News Now!