I’m just over one week into Plastic-Free July. One thing I’ve noticed so far is that it’s forcing me to eat quite healthily. Most of the junk food I like isn’t available this month. Even in the last few weeks leading up to July, I cut way back on buying foods that come in plastic packaging.
What I’m Not Eating
It’s amazing how many foods I can’t have this month. When I
glance around the grocery store, it seems like 90% is food I can’t eat because
it comes in plastic. Most breads come in plastic bags. Cold cereal and crackers
come in boxes, but within the box, there’s a plastic bag. I have yet to find a
brand of pasta that does not have the plastic covered window in the box. If I
want pasta, I should find a restaurant that makes their own and doesn’t use
egg.
When I’m craving junk food, I can’t stop at the grocery store
for a pint of vegan ice cream or a vegan cupcake. I can’t event treat myself to
a single serving bag of Fritos at the office. There’s no candy, or even gum, because
it all comes in or with plastic. (There are brands of plastic-free gum, but not
by the checkout at the supermarket.) If I want ice cream, I can go to an ice
cream parlor for sorbet or vegan ice cream and get it in a vegan cone, not a
cup. If I want a cookie, there are a few places in town that will sell you a
single vegan cookie, or I have to make my own.
I have notice that I have to be more mindful about planning
my meals this month because I can’t have any pre-made frozen or shelf-sable
meals. This means no gyoza, burritos, or vegan patties from the frozen section,
and no mac ‘n’ cheese, Thai food, or Indian food that comes in microwaveable
pouches or with plastic wrap, envelopes, or bags.
It also means I can use frozen vegetables, which used to be
a staple in my diet. I used to have them at least once, if not twice a day. My
freezer used to be filled with bags of fruits and veggies.
What I Am Eating
My rule for Plastic-Free July is that I’m allowed to eat
anything that comes in plastic that was in the house when the month started.
So, I can have protein powder, coffee, and the bit of frozen fruit and veggies that
are in the house.
Most of my food these days comes from the produce section
and the bulk bins. I picked up a lot of fresh fruits and veggies this past week,
using my reusable mesh produce bags. From the bulk bins, I make sure I always
have oatmeal, lentils, rice, and quinoa in the house – also using reusable containers.
That’s also where I get raisins, sugar, pumpkin seeds, and corn nuts. My store
also has bulk bins for bread, so I was able to pick up some bagels and wheat
rolls last week.
I have dry beans in the house, but it’s been so hot lately,
I don’t want to heat the house cooking them. Instead, I stocked up on beans in cans
that don’t have BPA in the lining. My go-to meal in a pinch is rice, beans, and
a vegetable, topped with a little salt, pepper, and vegan butter. I can also go
into the store aisles for canned tomatoes, olives, and pineapple; and peanut
butter, jam, oil, pickles, vegetable broth base, and condiments in glass.
Make my own oat milk and vegan butter, so I don’t have to
buy them in plastic containers. I recently discovered a recipe for chickpea
salad sandwiches, which is delicious. I may try to make my own vegan patties
this month since I can’t buy the frozen ones.
I also plan to visit the farmer’s market this month to see
what’s grown locally that’s in season. That’s probably the only place I might
find plastic-free berries this month. Maybe I’ll find a vendor who sells pasta
without plastic packaging.
I am doing Plastic-Free
July this year. The goal is to avoid using single-use plastics. This event
was started in Western Australia in 2011. According to their website, they’ve
had over 120 million participants in 177 countries take part to date.
Every time I forego a plastic option, I feel like I’m saving a turtle. “Turtle Canyon” by David W. Siu from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
These are the rules I’ve set for myself:
It’s ok to use the single-use plastics that I already own.
(No, I did not stock up heading into this month.) You will still see me using lip
balm, flossers, and cleaning supplies that come in plastic. I figured since I already
purchased them, they’re destined to go to landfill whenever I get rid of them,
so I might as well use them for their intended purpose so as not to be
wasteful. I have a few plastic shopping bags under the sink, but I want to try
some alternatives to plastic waste bin liners.
When I shop, I will use my reusable produce bags and tote
bags, or not use a bag at all. (I love when stores give you a token for not
taking a bag, and in turn, you put to the token in the bucket for a charity,
where each token will be five cents that the store donates.)
No purchasing produce that comes in plastic – like
cauliflower, salad greens, and baby carrots. Many stores sell grapes, and cherries
in plastic bags. For those, I’ve been taking a little from multiple bags and
putting them in my reusable bag. So far, no one’s looked at me strangely when I’ve
done it. (They’re not pre-weighed out, so it doesn’t hurt anyone.) I’ll probably
have to buy less produce per visit and go twice a week instead of just once to
make sure nothing goes bad.
Check out the farmers market.
Don’t buy packaged foods that come in plastic. This includes
all frozen foods, chips, crackers and cereal that have plastic bags in the box,
peanut butter in plastic jars, vegan butter, and bread. Instead, I’ll buy
things that come in paper, glass, and metal cans that don’t have a BPA liner.
Hit the bulk bins for staples like rice, oatmeal, lentils, and
raisins. I re-use plastic bags and bring my own jars for bulk foods. Since I
can’t have office snacks that come in plastic, I’ll also get vegan snacks from
the bins. I was pleased and relieved to find bread loaves, rolls, and bagels that
don’t come in plastic.
Buy vitamins in glass jars.
Drink water from the tap, not the bottled water service at
the office. (The delivery person also brings La Croix in cans. I can have that
if I want.) I have a reusable water bottle with me most of the time.
Always refuse plastic straws. I’ll carry my metal travel mug
and foldable spork with me as needed.
If no plastic-free option is available, then shift to
lower-plastic option if possible. For example, my deodorant comes in a glass
jar but has a plastic lid. It’s better than buying an all-plastic version. I buy
sunscreen in a metal can with a plastic dispenser, which is better than an
all-plastic tube.
Try to avoid using paper products if I know plastic is
involved. I keep a hand towel in my desk at work to use a napkin and potholder
for my lunch. This month, I’ll also take it with me to the bathroom since paper
towels come in plastic.
As always, Rosie is exempt from my shenanigans. Though, I’m happy to report that I found a butcher shop that says they wrap all their meats from the display case in paper, so I can get her chicken sans plastic. (Yay!)
I’m six days into Plastic-Free July, and so far, so good.
There have only been a few instances where something I wanted didn’t have a
plastic-free alternative, and a handful of times I’ve had to walk back to my
desk with wet hands because I forgot to bring my towel with me to the bathroom.
I’m speaking to a group
of lawyers this week about being non-binary. Since I’m always me, I asked
my Facebook friends to tell me what question they have or have had about my
non-binary experience or non-binary people in general to help me prepare.
One friend sent me a direct message and respectfully asked,
“Why is a non-binary identity important to you? Why does it matter?” She went
on to say that my name, gender, or pronouns wouldn’t change our relationship.
(My friends know that I welcome all sincere questions. If they’re trying to be
respectful and inadvertently say something wrong, I will not be offended.) It’s
a valid question, and one that does not surprise me coming from a person I know
to a cisgender heterosexual.
Photo by Scotty Myers Photography
Non-Binary People Exist
Being non-binary matters as much as it matters to be any
other gender. Unlike men and women, I live in a society that often doesn’t
acknowledge that I exist. Whenever I need to use a public bathroom or fill out
a form and there are only male/female options, the message I hear is that
people like me don’t deserve the same acknowledgment as men and women, that
they don’t believe I exist, or that I don’t matter.
When there are only male and female facilities available, if
I’m not welcome to use either option, then I’m not comfortable using any of them.
Earlier this year, I attended a conference where there were only men’s and
women’s bathrooms. I didn’t want the organizers to have to deal with an
uncomfortable situation of someone complaining that I was in the men’s room, so
we agreed that I’d use the bathroom in my hotel room. (The conference was in
the same hotel where I was staying.) This worked fine until the last day, when
I’d checked out of my room. I felt like an imposter using the women’s room when
I needed it.
I live in a society that doesn’t even have terminology for
non-binary people. There is no gender-neutral term for “sir” or “ma’am,” though
I’m in favor of adoption “pe’n,”
short for “person.” Most people don’t know that the non-binary alternative to
Mr./Ms. is Mx. (pronounced “mix”). When my sister got pregnant, I had to pick
my own title since there is no gender-neutral term for “aunt” or “uncle.” (This
is a common question in the Non-Binary Gender Pride Facebook group, also what
do you call a non-binary parent, significant other, spouse, or child.) My sweet
nibling has aunts, uncles, guncles (gay uncles – they picked their title too),
and an oggy (me). (“Oggy” rhymes with “doggy.”)
I’m Legally Non-Binary – and Still Not Recognized
I have a non-binary birth
certificate. (Thank you, California!) I am legally recognized as being
neither male nor female, and yet, I
can’t get a driver’s license in Arizona that reflects this. The State
Department will not issue me a non-binary passport. The State Department won’t
even issue one to Dana
Zzyym, an intersex person, even though it’s been court-ordered to do so. When
I travel, I bring my passport and my birth certificate in case I have to
explain why some of my tickets says non-binary and some say male or female –
because not all airlines have the non-binary gender option, but I should be
able to use it since I’m legally non-binary.
In most places, I can’t even walk down the street on a hot
day with my shirt off like my male counterparts without the risk of getting a
ticket for indecent exposure, even in California. (Arizona law says “female
areolas” must
be covered. I don’t think a judge would throw the case out if I went in
with my birth certificate that proves I’m not female, and thus, I can’t be in
violation of this law.) Thankfully, MeUndies
hooked me up with a nude
bralette so I can at least give the illusion of toplessness at a distance.
I could also wear my nude
chest binder, but I tend to overheat in that thing.
Men and women in the U.S. have never had to fight just to
say they exist. Women have to fight for equality, but they’ve never had to
fight to be recognized as different from men. In regard to legal rights, my
friend’s question made me think:
Why was it important for blacks to be counted a whole person and not 3/5 of a person?
Non-binary people are different than men and women. We often
live in societies that only recognize males and females – socially and
culturally. When I realized that I was
non-binary, something clicked into place. Up until then, I thought I was
just a weird girl. I didn’t understand why the other girls and women seemed so
different than me. When I realized that I’m non-binary, it made sense why I
felt like I was so different than the other girls I grew up with – because I
am! And even though we’re different, and live in a binary-centric society, we
still deserve the same rights and freedoms as everyone else, and to be
acknowledged for who we are.
I guess that’s why being non-binary matters to me. I want to be seen as who and what I am.
A
few months ago, I took the plunge and got a triathlon bike. It was a
substantial process because I went and had a proper bike fitting done.
Bike
Fitting
At
my first meeting with Barry the bike
fitter at Cyclologic, we talked about all my past injuries, he checked my legs
for strength and range of motion, and he took a some of measurements. He then
put a bunch of dots on my body – one on my hip, knee, ankle, and shoulder (at
least) – so it would be easier for him to take photos and measure my angles.
Then
it was up on the bike measuring contraption. It was like a bike in that it had
a seat, pedals, and handlebars, but there was no actual frame. He could raise
and lower each component as well as move them closer or further apart to
determine my ideal fit. There were cameras on two sides to shoot video and
images, and the whole platform it was on could spin. There was also a special
seat cover to detect how I distributed my weight on the seat.
The
entire fitting took about three hours which culminated in figuring out all my
measurements and then looking for a bike that fit my proportions.
The Delta Flyer on her trainer.
New
Bike
At
5’4”, I’m the same height as the average woman, but because of my proportions,
I’m tiny when it comes to bikes. I had to get an extra small frame. When I
stand over my bike, there is less than 1 inch of clearance between the top bar
of my frame and my crotch.
The
upside of needing an extra small bike is that I was able to get a good deal on
one from last season. They only had the “guy color” left – black with red. (The
“girl color” was peach and gray.) The moment I saw a picture of it, I knew I
was going to call her the “Delta Flyer” because
it reminded me of the uniforms
on Star Trek: Voyager.
First
Ride = First Fall
My
first ride on my triathlon bike was the first time I rode with my feet clipped
to the pedals. In the weeks leading up to getting my new bike, I paid close
attention when I was training on my mountain bike to see which foot I push off of
to start riding and which foot I put down when I come to a stoplight. It turns
out, I do everything the opposite on my triathlon bike.
On
my first ride, I clipped in my right foot, pushed off with my left, went about two
feet, and fell over, with my right foot still attached to the pedal. I couldn’t
keep the bike moving forward while trying to clip in my left foot. Once I switched
to doing everything with my right foot, I was fine.
Switching
from a mountain bike to a road bike was like changing my shoes from sneakers to
ice skates – all my weight was balanced over skinny tires! It took awhile to
get use to keeping my balance on a lighter bike and narrower tires.
Now
that it’s warmer, most of my rides are on the trainer, a device that turns my bike into
a stationary bike. On the upside, I don’t have to worry about traffic or having
to stop at lights. On the downside, it’s pretty boring. I always watch movies
to help pass the time on my bike.
I love my tri bike. My hip is slowly adjusting to riding in the “aero” position. I only ride in the aero position about 10% of the time, but hopefully that will increase, and I’ll be able to take full advantage of the benefits of my bike in races.
It’s less than a month away from Plastic-Free July – a month where I
will try to avoid single-use plastics in my life. Some people suggested that I
stock up on products that contain plastic so I won’t have to buy them during July,
but that goes against the purpose of doing this challenge. In fact, I’m doing
the opposite this month: Whenever I run out of something that comes in plastic,
I will try to replace it with a plastic-free product.
Looking around the house, I can see some products for which
I’ll have to find a plastic-free alternative:
Frozen Foods: I
regularly buy frozen spinach and berries for smoothies, and other frozen vegetables
for meal prepping. I’ll have to switch to fresh veggies and fruit when I run
out of them. I’ll probably switch to spinach and/or kale for my smoothies. I
don’t know if berries will be in season at the farmer’s market. I’m sure I can’t
get plastic-free ones at the store. I may have to switch to other fruits like
mangos. I’ve never seen non-frozen peas in the store, so I’ll likely switch to
broccoli and green beans for my green veggies.
Bread: The Whole Foods
near my office has non-packaged bread in its bakery section. Einstein’s will
likely be my go-to place for bagels. I’ll also look for plastic-free bread when
I hit the farmer’s markets. I’ve considered baking my own bread, but it’s hot
in Arizona in the summer. The last thing I want to do is add excess heat to the
inside of my home.
Paper Towels: My
last roll of paper towels is on the dispenser in the kitchen. When I use the
last one, I’m switching over to multipurpose washable cloth towels instead. I
bought a pack of 12. We’ll see if I need more than that to last me until I do
laundry on the weekend.
Face Soap: I use
an exfoliating face soap that comes in a squeezy plastic tube. I’ll use regular
soap on my face (that comes in paper or no packaging), and I wonder if I’ll notice
a difference. I’ve seen recipes for scrubs I can use if I need it.
Moisturizer: I’ve
used the same moisturizer for over two decades. I love it. It’s a great
product. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I run out. I plan to call the
parent company to ask if they have any products that come in glass. The recipes
I’ve seen for lotion, so far, all have to be refrigerated, which isn’t
convenient when I travel. We’ll see what happens.
Lip Balm: I’m addicted
to lip balm. I usually have in my bag and/or pocket, in my desk at work, and
2-3 on various counters and tables throughout my home. They’re all plastic tubes.
I have until my current stash runs out to find a lip balms that come in a metal
tin or a paper tube. I just have to find a quality one that works for me.
Trash Can Liners:
I don’t compost (yet) so sometimes my kitchen trash can be wet from coffee grounds
and bits from fruits and veggies. Usually, I line my trash bin with a plastic
shopping bag. (At least, I’m reusing them.) As alternatives, I could try using paper
shopping bags as a liner or lining the can with newspaper. If neither of those
work, I may have to forego a liner and wash the bin after I take out the trash
each time.
Unfortunately, there are few necessary non-negotiable items
in my life that only that come in plastic:
Prescription Medications: We are all better people because I take meds. I am looking into a charity that repurposes the plastic bottles from medications and vitamins.
Sunscreen: I’m not going to get skin cancer while saving the planet. I use a “reef-conscious formula” that comes in a metal spray can, but it has plastic in the dispenser and lid.
Contact Lenses and Solution: Besides laser eye surgery, I don’t think there’s a plastic-free alternative to lenses and solution. I’m sure there are recipes for making your own contact solution, but given that these products literally go in my eyes, I’m sticking with ophthalmologist-approved and prescribed products.
The other day, I was at Office Max, picking up ink for my
printer. The clerk and I had a good conversation, joked a bit, while they rang me
up. When the transaction was complete, I turned to leave and the clerk said, “Have
a good day, ma’am.”
<cringe>
I hate that moment of being mis-gendered. Do I turn around
and correct them? Or do I keep walking and let them think I’m a woman?
Yes, I’m fully aware
that I have boobs when I don’t bind and a feminine face. But I also shaved my
head, wear gender neutral clothes much of the time, carry a gender neutral bag,
and I try to “walk like a guy.”
The worst is dealing with customer service on the phone. If
I’m calling customer service, there’s a good chance I’m already not having a
good day. Being mis-gendered on top of everything else makes my skin crawl.
Image by Scotty Myers Photography
I don’t blame these people for mis-gendering me. All they have
to go on, at first, is my voice (that never dropped, though I do like to refer
to myself as a “castrata”).
(Ok, I’ve never had testicles, and I do
sing soprano, so it’s close enough.) One of the first things they ask for
is my name, and “Ruth” is unmistakably feminine. I suspect these customer
service reps are people who work in cubicles, use a script, and are expected to
say “sir” or “ma’am” as a sign of respect.
And that’s part of my frustration: We don’t have a gender neutral
term to use in place of “sir” or “ma’am.”
I would love it if did. I’d love it if the default was to
use a gender neutral term instead of “sir” or “ma’am.” Pick one word for everyone.
We have “friend,” but that’s too casual, and terms like “sweetie” or “buddy”
are even worse. We don’t have a gender neutral term that is professional equivalent
of “sir” or “ma’am.”
What might that word be?
A few months ago, I contemplated this question during a morning
swim (before I knew that I was supposed to focus on my form the whole time).
The words “sir” and “ma’am” essentially mean, “you.” We don’t usually say “Have
a good day, you” but that’s what’ we’re saying when we say, “Have a good day, sir/ma’am.”
So, what’s the gender neutral, non-weird term for “you?” “Human?”
“Person?”
“Ma’am” is short for “madam,” so started to think that maybe
there’s a gender neutral word we can shorten.
What about shortening “person” to “pe’n” (pronounced “pen”)?
I like “pe’n.”
I’d be ok with people referring to me as “pe’n.” I’d be ok
with that being our new gender neutral replacement for “sir” and “ma’am.” I
suspect many cisgender people would be upset about changing the term, perhaps
find it offensive, to not acknowledge their specific gender. I’d want to
challenge those people to think about why that is. What’s wrong with people
referring to you as a person instead of a man or a woman?
That’s a question for another day: What if we eliminated
excessive masculine and feminine terms and use gender neutral ones instead?
Now, some of you might remember that I prefer “sir” over
“ma’am” when those are the only two options. As a Trekkie, I grew up
thinking that all superiors in the military were referred to as “sir” because
that’s what they did on Star Trek. Personally, I’d be ok with everyone being a “sir,”
but I also don’t want to perpetuate the idea that the default term should be
the masculine.
So back to the Office Max clerk. How did I respond when they
mis-gendered me? I just kept walking. I bet the clerk felt good about that
interaction. They did their job and made a customer laugh. I let them feel good
about that.
This legislative session, 1289 bills were introduced in Arizona. Every bill that didn’t receive a First Read by last Friday (February 22, 2019) is dead. If a bill doesn’t get a First Read, it doesn’t get assigned to a committee. If it doesn’t get assigned to a committee, it never gets voted on. I could not find a comprehensive list of all the bills that died (or that are still pending for that matter), but among the dead bills is my bill.
HB2289
would have given Arizona the ability to issue non-binary driver’s licenses. This
law would have provided the legal recognition that non-binary people deserve to
be treated the same as men and women. It would have helped alleviate the
problems that arise when someone’s appearance is discordant to the gender they
were assigned as birth.
The currently law only allows for male and female
designations on IDs. There are no other options. Even if you present a
non-binary birth certificate or a non-binary driver’s license from another
state, they can’t issue you a non-binary driver’s license. Even if the MVD
wanted to, it can’t issue a driver’s license with “X” for non-binary. (I know.
I’ve tried. Ditto for leaving the field for sex blank. The computer won’t
process the application without “M” or “F.”)
During this legislative session, I called or emailed Speaker
Bowers’ office almost every day. My friends called and emailed him too. I never received a response, even when I
specifically requested a call back. Each time I asked him to give the bill a
First Read and assign it to a committee. My requests fell on deaf ears.
I never asked Speaker Bowers to support the bill. All I
asked was that he allow it to be heard.
Issuing non-binary driver’s licenses is not a new idea. Currently,
Washington D.C. and 6 states issue non-binary driver’s
licenses: Arkansas, California, Colorado, Maine, Minnesota, and Oregon. (Looking
at the pending bills and previously passed laws in other states, Maryland,
Massachusetts, New York, and Vermont are the most likely states to be next to
grant non-binary driver’s licenses.)
Wait. Back up.
Arkansas! One of the states in the “bible belt” is more progressive
and accepting of non-binary people than my state!
Granting non-binary people driver’s licenses that match
their gender won’t change most people’s lives, and it shouldn’t be that
expensive. It’s a matter of updating a form and some computer software. By not
even letting the bill be heard, the State is telling non-binary people that we
don’t exist, that we don’t matter, that we don’t deserve the same rights and acknowledgement
as everyone else. The State of Arizona is saying we’re second class citizens at
best.
This hurt. Having my bill die without being given a chance
was a slap in the face and a kick in the gut. It made me want to figuratively
crawl into a corner and cry.
Image by Ted Eytan from Werk For Your Health (Creative Commons License)
At the same time, I want to scream at anyone who says we don’t
exist. I will shop in the men’s and women’s sections if I feel like it. I will
cringe every time I hear someone refer to me as “ma’am” or “miss.” I want to
take my non-binary birth certificate (thanks California!) and whip it out anytime
someone claims we should be forced to use the bathroom based on what gender we
were assigned at birth.
We know we exist. I’m not asking for your validation. I just
want the same rights as everyone else.
If you’re curious about the status of a bill, you can look
it up on the State’s website. A lot
of good bills died last week.
When Rosie lost her right eye to glaucoma and became a pirate pup in 2015, our doctor said it would only be a matter of time until the illness took her other eye. They said most glaucoma dogs lose their second eye within a year of the first one.
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Day 1: Sudden
Blindness
Monday, November 19, 2018 (the Monday before Thanksgiving): Rosie woke up blind. When we went for our morning walk, she stumbled when the surface of the ground changed from sidewalk, to gravel, to grass. That’s what tipped me off that she wasn’t just tired. Not that she could see much before then – between the glaucoma and her eye drops, Rosie’s view of the world was like looking through a straw after her first eye surgery.
I called our puppy ophthalmologist’s
emergency number (it was before 6 a.m.). The doctor gave the go-ahead to give Rosie’s
emergency meds and told me to make an appointment with our regular vet. I mixed
glycerin with milk and slowly poured down Rosie’s throat with a big syringe.
This dehydrated her and hopefully brought down the pressure in her eye.
How About Today?
I got an appointment with our
vet just before noon where they confirmed what I already suspected: Rosie
was blind. Her glaucoma had spread and the pressure in her right eye was too
high. It needed to be removed.
I asked our vet if they had availability on the schedule to do
Rosie’s surgery the next day. She went to the back to check the surgeon’s
schedule. When the vet returned, she said, “How about today?”
At 12:30 that afternoon, I left Rosie in the trusted care of our
vet where the same
surgeon who did her first enucleation would be performing her second one.
The hardest part was not being able to explain to Rosie what was about to
happen. I couldn’t tell her, “These nice people are going to put you to sleep,
and when you wake up, your head isn’t going to hurt anymore, but you’ll never
see again.”
Support from the Blind
Basset Community
One of the first people I reached out to after leaving Rosie was
Daisy the Blind
Snowflake – an all-white blind basset I knew from Instagram. Her mom told
me that adapting to blindness is harder on the human than the dog and gave me
some tips. That was reassuring.
Sarah and Thomas to
the Rescue
I picked up Rosie from the vet at 8 that night. The vet tech was
very sweet. She told me while Rosie was in recovery, it was just her and
another dog in that area, neither one in a kennel or cages. At one point, Rosie
randomly walked over to the other dog and gently bumped her head into them.
I snapped Rosie’s protective cone from her first surgery around her head, loaded her into the car, and drove her home. Newly blind and still groggy from surgery, she didn’t want to move much. When I unloaded her from the car, she refused to walk, even with a gentle tug on the leash.
I had a moment of mild panic. What was I going to do? I can lift my 68-pound dog, but I can’t carry her the 100ish feet from my parking spot to our condo. I immediately called my neighbors, Sarah and Thomas, who bolted over to help. Thomas scooped up my potato sack of a dog and carried her all the way to her bed.
It turned out, Rosie was freaked out by the cone. As soon as I unsnapped
it, she was fine. I made her a deal that she could have breaks from it while I
home, nearby, and awake, if she didn’t scratch at her stitches.
Day 2: Surreal
The day after surgery was surreal for me as I looked at my beautiful dog with her swollen purple eye and thought, “My dog is really blind. This isn’t going to change.”
She can’t see shapes. She can’t even see light. She literally
has no eyeballs. Her world is dark.
There were some sad moments for me that day, but I found comfort
in reminding myself that adapting is harder for me than Rosie. As I was experiencing
these thoughts, she was comfortably relaxing on the lawn.
Day 5: You’re Killing
Mommy
I often participate in Buy Nothing Day on Black Friday, but I had to make an exception. I was working in my home office, and Rosie was crashing around the living room in her cone.
Bang bang bang bang bang!
I try to be patient with Rosie, especially in times like this where
she can’t help it, but the noise was making me insane. I think at one point I actually
said, “Rosie, you’re killing Mommy.”
A quick run to Ryan’s Pet
Supplies saved my sanity. I got Rosie a soft inflatable doughnut to replace
her plastic cone. I think we were both happier for it.
Imperfect Navigation
Basset hounds are scent hounds. I figured navigating as a blind
dog would be easy for Rosie. I was surprised to see her that she couldn’t
beeline toward a scent.
For example, Rosie’s bowls are in the kitchen. You have to go
around the counter to get to them. When she walks to meals, I have to watch to
make sure she doesn’t walk into a chair that’s under the dining table. There’s
plenty of navigation space. Sometimes she sniffs at her water bowl before realizing
that her food bowl is next to it. Even though she has a top-notch sniffer, she’s
still navigating in the dark.
Going for walks is a daily adventure for us. We switched to
walking with her car harness after her second surgery – a suggestion from the
vet tech. At first, it was like walking a marionette. I always have to be on
the lookout to make sure she doesn’t inadvertently walk off a curb. When I let
Rosie lead, she frequently walks in ovals in the parking lot. I’m not sure why
she does that.
I learned that other owners taught their glaucoma dogs verbal commands
for “right,” “left,” “slow down,” and “hard stop” while they still had some
vision. Yeah . . . Rosie and I didn’t do that. She spent the last 4 years mostly
being self-directed on our walks and often walked off-leash. Going back to
wearing a leash has been quite the adjustment for her.
One thing I do during our walks is I let her bump into things.
Not hard. When we’re approaching a car or a wall, if she wants to keep walking
toward the solid object, I’ll slow her down and let her gently bump it. I
figure she’s not going to learn how close things are without experiencing it.
Rules for Blind Dog
Living
Here are some of the rules I’ve learned for living with a blind
dog:
Don’t move the furniture. (I’m not one of them, but apparently there are people who recreationally rearrange their furniture.)
No clutter on the floor. Don’t leave things like shoes out where your dog can trip on them.
Open doors slowly. You never know where your blind dog is on the other side. Your dog cannot tell how fast the door is moving and get out of the way.
You can help your dog navigate by tapping on the floor or wall near where you want them to go.
Protect your blind dog from approaching dogs. During our first week of blind living, a rambunctious dog came up too fast on Rosie. (He just wanted to play.) That was the moment I learned to step in front of Rosie to physically block her from fast approaching dogs.
Use a harness to walk your blind dog. You don’t want to pull at their neck.
Use a “blind dog” leash.* Rosie has the leash and collar.* This way, anyone approaching us will see that she’s blind and be more thoughtful.
Use scent-based play. We like to play hide-the-treat where I’ll hide pieces of dog treats in shoes, in her bed, behind doors, etc., where she has to sniff them out. Rosie also loves pushing around her Kong treat ball.*
Give all other treats directly to the dog’s mouth. For dental sticks,* bully slices,* and Milkbones,* I hold one side of the treat near her face, and let her grab it with her mouth.
Day 90: Getting the
Hang of It
I’m still getting used to having a blind dog. I’ve seen a big
improvement in how well she navigates our condo and our complex. She’s gained a
lot more confidence in the last few weeks.
She often sticks close to walls and furniture both when walking
and laying down. Whenever she lays down at home or in the office, her butt or side
is usually touching something. I think this gives her a sense of security about
where she is. Whenever I’m looking for her, I scan the edges of the room.
One of the things that gives me the warm fuzzies is seeing her recognize
familiar people and dogs. Her tail wags like crazy when she realizes she’s
found a friend, sometimes followed by happy whines.
Over the last 90 days, Rosie and my lives have changed a lot. She doesn’t need eye drops anymore. We walk slower. I have to get out of her way, because she’s not getting out of mine. I try to be careful about scary noises like the food processor and vacuum.
On the flip side, a lot of things have stayed the same. Rosie is
still my baby. She’s still as stubborn as ever, and probably now even more
spoiled (as she should be).
Whenever I book a hotel room, if there’s a box on the reservation form for notes or requests, I like to type in something about being non-binary or I’ll put in something silly. One time I asked for the hotel to put a “high five” in my room, just to see what they’d do with that. I would have been tickled pink if they had taped a piece of paper with the outline of someone’s hand on it to the wall. Unfortunately, they ignore it.
I like to have fun when I travel. I’m also the person who shakes out the Gideon Bible, just in case there’s money in it.
Don’t worry. My silly antics aren’t just limited to hotels. I regularly ask servers at restaurants for a pony when they ask if they can bring anything else. Usually they smile and say something lighthearted back. But one drew me a picture of a pony on my bill. She got an extra tip that night.
Last month, I spent a few nights in Vegas for the Shankminds live mastermind event. When I booked my room at the Park MGM, I asked for the staff to refer to me as “Your Grace” and for the hotel to put an octopus made out of towels in my room.
This was what I saw when I walked into my hotel room.
I shall call you “Ocky.”
I giggled when I saw this little guy. I put him on a side table and smiled every time I looked at it for the rest of my trip. (If there is such thing as a spirit animal, I’m pretty sure mine is an octopus.)
I think asking for a towel octopus will be my new thing when I travel. I’m curious to see how other hotels execute my request.
I just paid $505 for my Arizona bar dues. That’s right,
Arizona is a pay-to-play mandatory bar. I paid $505 just so I can be a lawyer
for the next year. That’s about $42/month and just under $10/week just so I can
work in my profession.
Now, I’m not opposed to a mandatory bar, as we are a
self-regulating industry. I am opposed to a state bar not giving their members
their money’s worth. I’m definitely not getting $505 worth of value from the
State Bar of Arizona, even with our member discounts.
I have yet to meet a fellow Arizona lawyer who disagrees with me.
One thing that makes me furious with the State Bar is there
was no
need to raise our bar dues from $460 (which was already at the high end of
state bar dues). The Board of Governors approved the raise despite seeing that
the State Bar was forecast to have a multi-million dollar cash surplus at our then
rate.
Benefits of the State
Bar of Arizona
Before I continue my rant, let me give credit where credit
is due. There are some benefits to being a member of the State Bar of Arizona (besides
getting to do my job):
Ethics Hotline: The State Bar has a number where you can discuss your ethical questions with a qualified lawyer. They will usually not give you a direct answer to your question (unless it is a black-and-white issue). My first year as a lawyer, my goals were to make a profit and not get disbarred. I was on a first name basis with one of the State Bar’s ethic’s lawyers because I called so much.
Fastcase: I don’t pay for Westlaw or Lexis. I do most of my case law research with Fastcase through the State Bar. It’s not worth $505/year, but it’s a valuable resource.
Arizona Attorney Daily 5: I like getting this email every weekday from Tim Eigo, the editor of Arizona Attorney magazine. It has information about newsworthy legal stories in current events, many of which that are relate to my practice areas.
Conference Rooms: When I started my firm, I used a mailbox at a UPS Store for my address and worked from home. When I had to meet with clients, I used the conference rooms at the State Bar in Phoenix which were free to use. They need a better scheduling system, but it’s useful to those of us who live nearby.
Investigate Ethics Complaints: One thing the State Bar does is investigate complaints against lawyers. If you read the Lawyer Regulation section of our magazine, you know there are some lawyers who either need help, have no business running a law practice, and/or have no business being a lawyer. Someone needs to be the watchdog over us.
Image by tiatrcompetition20133 from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
Back to Ranting
One thing that annoys the crap of me about the State Bar is
the fact that they charge for continuing education events (CLEs) at their own
facilities. They don’t pay their speakers, so their costs to put on an event is
close to nothing, and yet they charge $54-$149 per person. You will not see me
at one of their CLEs as a speaker or a participant unless they change how they
operate.
What I’d Do Differently
If I ran the State Bar, I’d immediately assess the budget –
what’s needed and what’s not. When I asked the Bar what our dues pay for, I received
a response that said our dues cover about 60% of their budget. (And don’t
forget that cash
surplus they’re sitting on.)
Additionally, the State Bar should either offer their CLEs
at their facilities for free or pay their speakers. With the money they’re
sitting on, they could bring in some top-notch speakers who are worth every
penny.
I don’t know how the State Bar goes about getting discounts
for its members, but I want better ones. They should look for ideas on the Local First Arizona directory to see
if there are companies who might was to partner with the Bar – for office
supplies, office furniture, document shredding, marketing services, and company
shwag. Let’s keep our money supporting our community where we can. I’d also find
value in discounts for airline tickets, a custom tailor, and hotels outside the
Phoenix area, and because I’m concerned about lawyer safety, I’d love to see
discounts for self-defense classes and bulletproof undershirts.
(The one place a
lawyer can’t take their gun is into a courthouse. If someone was targeting one
of us, that would be a place where we’d most vulnerable. I don’t own a gun. I want
a bulletproof undershirt because of the rates of violence against transgender
persons.)
Putting my Money Where
my Mouth Is
My rule is you can’t bitch unless you’re willing to do
something about it. The minimum I can do is vote in the next Board of Governors
election this spring. For any incumbents, I’ll look at how they voted on the
last bar dues increase. In the candidates’ personal statements, I want to see their
ideas to reduce our bar dues and/or provide greater value to the membership. I
hope my fellow Arizona lawyers will do the same.
I am a licensed attorney in the State of Arizona; however, this blog should only be used for informational and entertainment purposes. It does not constitute legal advice, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship with anyone. If you need an attorney, hire one.
