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Henry’s Hope

Three Candles: An Interview with Will Corcoran

After enduring horrific child abuse, Indiana attorney and author Will Corcoran became a loving father of four. Unfortunately, his son Henry has mitochondrial disease – a terminal illness. Will recently published his first book, Three Candles, where he shares his & Henry’s stories of love & perseverance. Will was gracious to talk about his book & the organization he co-founded, Henry’s Hope. 

Tell us a little about yourself & Henry’s Hope.
I used to define myself as a lawyer, writer, law professor, businessman, & professional coach. Now, with the ultimate dose of perspective, I am a proud husband & father. Like all parents, my biggest & most important life lessons have come from my children. When we got the devastating news that our son, Henry’s, time on Earth would provide me only a crash course, I became a hesitant & humble student – learning & sharing everything that Henry, & our other kids, could teach me & my wife. I learned that my childhood shaped my perspective as well. Henry has taught us a perspective everyone could benefit from.  I am committed to share my & Henry’s story in this book, public speaking, & one-on-one coaching & counseling.

Henry’s Hope was inspired by Henry & his mature wisdom. During our time in the hospitals with him, we saw many children & their families that could not afford to pay for the treatment & expensive road to diagnosis that we were lucky enough to afford. Children suffered. Families were tormented. One day, Henry asked, “Why doesn’t JJ get the medicine that I do?” There was no good answer. We founded Henry’s Hope to help children with life-threatening & terminal illnesses receive quality treatment by assisting with funding, finding resources, & providing patient advocates for families.

What inspired you to write this book?
Henry. He, like so many other sick children, has a perspective on life healthier than any adult I know. Though he certainly has much to complain about, he doesn’t. His focus remains on the here & now – being a kid, having fun, enjoying time with his family. So many of us are caught up in things that really don’t matter in the long run. I started writing to capture Henry’s purity in his perspective & our journey with him.

The second part of the story, my traumatically abusive upbringing, almost seems like a disconnect, but my childhood helped guide me in parenting Henry. It helped us both share “first” experiences & have a much fuller appreciation for them.

What’s the story behind the title “Three Candles?”
Three Candles starts by following Henry & I when we were both 3 years old. Both of our lives took dramatic turns that year. My first childhood memory was of a beating, being locked in a shed, & disassociating. Henry was diagnosed with a terminal illness when he was 3. But, the light in the candles represent the hope & inspiration – despite what sounds objectively like horrific changes for both children. 

How does your experience with child abuse help you raise a terminally ill child?
As a survivor of childhood abuse, I was robbed of a lot of childhood experiences. Henry, through his battles, is also put in a spot where he can’t truly be a kid. Though very different experiences, I know how important it is for kids to feel loved, feel safe, & be as worry-free as possible.

We chronicle several examples in the book, and one of my favorites was when I took Henry on a class field trip to the apple orchard. Henry was so excited. I was worried because, though he knew that he couldn’t eat anything because of his illness, sometimes he would get caught up & still ask. I resisted going & talked about other things that we could do together, but my 3 year-old was steadfast. We were going to the apple orchard.

When we arrived, Henry’s excitement continued.  With his classmates, he learned about the different types of apples, their textures, & smells. We picked several apples. As the group headed back to do some taste testing, I dilly-dallied – almost hoping to miss it. Henry wouldn’t have any of it. “Daddy,” he grabbed my hand in a huff, “We have to hurry. Can’t miss this.”

Henry guided me to the food line. My heart sunk, thinking that I’d have to explain that he couldn’t eat anything. But before I could address it Henry told me, “I know I can’t eat it, but you can.” I got the food, let him hold & smell it, & described it to him – answering a lot of questions.

Then, he asked, “Daddy did you have a fun visit to your first apple orchard?” It was my first visit. He remembered. My experience was just as important to him, if not more during some points, as his was. 

How does it feel to have your abuse story out there for all to read?
That’s a hard question to answer. As any abuse survivor knows, there never is a finish line. We will continue to have issues that we will have to deal with, but we are survivors. The emotions are so diverse & can change each day.

Embarrassment. Guilt. Sad. Lonely. Overwhelmed. Exposed. Those are the feelings that I struggled with all of my life. It took me a long time to turn the corner. When I realized that my horrible childhood experiences & who that made me was actually helping me parent Henry, I couldn’t be ashamed anymore.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy that happened to me. But, I can use those horrific experiences as weapons to make difficult experiences now more positive. That doesn’t change what happened or make it ok, but if I can make my past have a positive impact on the future, then there is no shame in that.

So now I experience pride, strength, hope, courage, & perspective.  I hope in sharing my abuse story other abuse survivors might be able to use their past tragedies as important tools for what lies ahead.

 

Three Candles is available for purchase on Amazon. A portion of the proceeds goes to Henry’s Hope. You can learn more about Three Candles and Will at his website.

SALK Day 22 – The Foster Group

Today’s sponsor is The Foster Group, a new and unique law firm with offices in Arizona and Indiana.  Founded by Troy and Kristen Foster, The Foster Group is staffed with exceptional lawyers with big firm experience who want to provide the individualized service and care of a boutique law firm.  These lawyers are former partners at large national law firms, have worked for federal and state judges, and have represented large international companies.

Troy Foster’s career has focused on education and employment law.  He has been named one of The Best Lawyers in America for many years.  Troy has also received the highest ratings for ethical standards and substantive ability by his peers.  Kristen Foster specializes in labor and employment law, trust and estates, education and special education law, family law, and media relations.  One of her previous positions was an Assistant Attorney General for Arizona, where she represented Child Protective Services. Along with being on the Boards of Directors for numerous organizations, the Fosters recently founded Henry’s Hope, an organization that is dedicated to the needs of children with life-threatening illnesses and their families.

The core principles of The Foster Group are commitment, hard work, trust, and dedication.  Their goal is to understand their clients’ needs and to provide them efficient and practical solutions to their problems.  The Foster Group is focused on providing high-quality, cost-effective services and being attentive and responsive to their clients.

The Foster Group specializes in labor law, education law, family law, trusts and estates, civil rights, and transactional corporate and real estate law.  It has a Human Resources Solutions Group that provides trainings, internal investigations, policy revisions, or high-level consultation work to companies.  Recently, The Foster Group has offered trainings in Arizona regarding the recent legalization of medicinal marijuana and its effect on the workplace.  It is also dedicated to protecting the rights and interests of individual who want to have their story heard in the news media, in print, or published in a book.

Troy Foster also offers his services as a mediator. He has experience mediating employment, civil, tort, legal and medical malpractice disputes.  His thoughtful nature and compassionate heart make me an ideal person to help parties resolve their problems.

The Foster Group is a unique and desirable place to work.  Unlike other firms that work their lawyers to death, The Foster Group only requires lawyers to bill 1600 hours per year.  Other firms require their lawyers to bill 1850-2200 per year, which is one of the reasons why lawyers are rumored to be addicted to stimulants and have heart attacks when they are 40.  The Foster Group also has a fun, event-driven bonus system, such as trips to Hawaii.  Additionally, the firm plans to launch a Community Involvement Program where it will hire an attorney to work full-time on pro bono cases.

The Foster Group can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.

Sponsor A Law Kid is my endeavor to pay for my last semester of law school. Today’s sponsor is The Foster Group.   For more information about Sponsor A Law Kid or to see what days are still available for sponsorship, visit my Sponsor A Law Kid page.

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SALK Day 18 – Henry’s Hope

By the time Henry Foster was 3 years old, he had had a dozen surgeries and procedures, had dozens of diagnostic exams, seen over a dozen specialists, and had had hundreds of doctor and physical therapy appointments.  Initially diagnosed with failure to thrive, Henry battled dozens of infections, respiratory problems, and visions problems.  He could not crawl or walk until he was 2 years old.  He had to have a feeding tube placed in his stomach when he was unable to eat.

After years of searching, worrying, and not knowing what was wrong with their child, the Foster family finally had an answer to Henry’s problems – he has mitochondrial disease.  His cells do not have enough energy for his body to properly function.  It is neuro-degenerative and progressive illness.  As Henry ages, his energy level will drop until there is not enough energy to sustain life.  Unless there are significant medical advances, Henry will die of this disease.

Despite the fact that Henry is often feels weak or sick, he is always resilient, happy, and courageous.  He has never complained about constantly needing medical treatment.  His parents created Henry’s Hope in 2010 in honor of children like Henry and their families.

The purpose of Henry’s Hope is to give “all children with life-threatening medical conditions have access to medical treatment, supplies, and support for their families – regardless of socio-economic status.”  The Fosters have seen firsthand that many families cannot afford the medical treatment necessary to arrive at a diagnosis for their children’s illnesses or the special food and medication required for them to survive.  Instead of focusing only on their child, they have created this organization to help other families that are not as fortunate as them.

Beyond helping families receive proper treatment, the organization is dedicated to provide advocates for families, to help them navigate insurance companies and government entities.  They also provide advocates that help these families understand the physical and emotional aspects of having a child with a life-threatening illness.

Henry’s Hope is dedicated to bringing attention to children with terminal and life-threatening illnesses and the lack of funding for research.  Henry’s Hope raises money to support research facilities that are working on more effective treatments and cures for these illnesses.

Henry’s Hope is an organization dedicated to easing the suffering of these children – some of who are fighting for their lives, and to helping their families have the medical and emotional support they need.   Amazingly, this organization relies completely on donations and volunteers.  Please donate whatever you have – whether it is money or time – to help Henry’s Hope.

You can also keep up with Henry’s Hope on Facebook and Twitter.

Sponsor A Law Kid is my endeavor to pay for my last semester of law school. Today’s sponsor is Henry’s Hope.   For more information about Sponsor A Law Kid or to see what days are still available for sponsorship, visit my Sponsor A Law Kid page.