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gender identity

Binding with KT Tape – My Experience

If pushed to label my gender, I’d say I’m non-gendered. While I am biologically female, I don’t think the American constructs of man or woman fit for me. I have no plans to surgically alter my appearance, but I do like to be androgynous. Periodically, I wear a chest binder to have a flatter torso. It does the job, and it’s pretty comfortable considering it’s compressing my chest, but it doesn’t work with every type of shirt – the shoulder straps are too wide to wear with a tank top and tops that have necklines that are too wide or too low. Plus, it’s an extra layer of fabric, which I suspect will get hot in the summer.

One strip of KT Tape cut in half

I learned that some people use KT Tape as an alternative to wearing a binder. As a runner, I’ve used this super-stretchy adhesive fabric tape on my shins and feet while training for races. Wearing KT is better than using an ace bandage or other tape to bind, but it’s not ideal. KT is aware that some people use their product to bind and they provide guidance to minimize issues like skin irritation. I decided to give it a try for a day.

Taping myself was easy. I did right after my shower when there were no dirt or oil on my skin. Given the small area that needed taping, I took a single KT strip of Pro-Synthetic tape and cut it in half. I taped myself while laying down because that’s when I’m flattest. I started the strip just inside my nipple, attached with no stretch, then stretched it across my chest, and lay the other end against my skin with no stretch in the tape. I repeated the process on the other side, but I didn’t completely un-stretch the tape before attaching the end on my side. I could feel that pinching and pulling a bit throughout the day.

Overall, it was quite comfortable. I wouldn’t go running in this setup, but I felt confident to walk my dog and go to the office without worrying that anyone would notice. When I took the tape off, there was a bit of irritation where the ends of the tape were, but not bad – and I have super sensitive skin! I would definitely do this again if I wanted to bind while wearing a non-binder friendly outfit. KT recommends using their Original-Cotton tape to reduce the risk of skin irritation. I’d probably buy a roll in their nude tone rather than my usual black.

I don’t plan to bind myself with KT on a regular basis, but I’m glad to know it works. I could see myself going to a beach and opting to wear KT tape instead of a top. Yes, I could wear classic pasties, but given their typical shapes and colors, those are made to be stared at; and sometimes, I really don’t want to deal with being objectified. I just want to be comfortable.

Am I Non-Binary?

Earlier this year, a court in Oregon let a person legally change their gender to “non-binary.” It’s fantastic that the law acknowledges that there’s more to gender than merely male or female.

europa rainbow by  ** RCB ** from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

europa rainbow by ** RCB ** from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

As I thought about this ruling, I began to reflect on my upbringing. When I was growing up, children were classified as a “boy” or a “girl” based on their genitalia. By the time I was in preschool, I understood that boys and girls were told to use different bathrooms, play with different toys, and wear different clothes. As I got older, I learned that some people are homosexual and bisexual. I also learned that some people are transgender, meaning that they were born in the wrong body, and probably wanted a sex change; and some people are intersex, meaning they have both male and female genitalia. In all these situations, gender was represented as a binary characteristic.

I wondered, if I grew up in a culture that acknowledged gender as a spectrum, would I self-identify as non-binary. I’ve never fit in with the “girly girls” in school, and I didn’t want to be like them. In fact, I got in trouble when I was nine because I refused to talk to most of the girls in my class because I thought they were annoying. I find it delightfully ironic that I was a gymnast – a sport that is so inherently feminine and has drastic differences in men’s and women’s events. It’s also fierce as hell which is why I love it so much. I asked my teammates, who I spent years with, seeing each other at our best and our worst during our tween and teen years, to describe me. Some of their descriptors were “strong,” “powerful,” “determined,” “focused,” and “true to yourself.” I definitely wasn’t one of the balletic athletes in the gym.

Learning about this ruling made me the question my gender identity. I have no issues with being biologically female except that I think tits are overrated, and I would have an ablation in a heartbeat if it came with a guarantee. I have no desire to have a penis. If pushed to declare which pronouns I want, I can see myself choosing he/her – don’t ask me why, and, to be honest, I really don’t care what pronouns you use for me as long as you use them respectfully. As a model, I prefer poses and looks that are somewhat androgynous and portray me as strong – or at least possessing an inner strength.

I shared some of my thoughts about questioning my gender with my friends, and it was comforting to hear that I’m not the only one who doesn’t fit in a stereotypical box. Some are agender. Some have biologically male parts, no desire to change that, but feel they are more feminine in terms of their personality. The best response I got was from a friend who says she doesn’t identify as a “lady” or a “man,” but rather an engineer, an inventor, a housewife, an athlete, a seamstress, and a parent. I think she’s right in that what we do is more important than which bathroom we use or which gender box we check.

If you’re questioning your gender identity and/or gender expression, you’re not alone. We may not talk about it much, but a lot of us don’t feel like we fit into the male/female binary. You don’t have to decide on a label for yourself today and if you select a designation for yourself, you’re not stuck with it for forever. For me, for now, I’m content to classify myself as gender non-conforming and continue to be open to further self-exploration and experiences.

Stand Against North Carolina

-> North Carolina -> by Justin Warner from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

-> North Carolina -> by Justin Warner from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

The State of North Carolina can go fornicate with itself. I can’t believe the bigots in power over there not only passed HB2, but their governor signed it! (At least when the bigots in office in Arizona voted in favor of SB 1062, our moron governor was smart enough not to sign it.)

In case you’ve been living under a rock, this new law prevents municipalities from passing LGBT nondiscrimination ordinances and it requires people to use the bathroom that corresponds to the sex indicated on their birth certificate.

This law makes me so angry. It’s hard to believe people still have these backwards beliefs. I don’t know what y’all in North Carolina do in bathrooms, but I use them to use the toilet, wash my hands, and check my hair. In the 36 years I’ve been using public bathrooms, I’ve never had an issue with another user.

Being that I’m across the country, I felt somewhat powerless – but then I thought about what little things I could do:

I can choose not to attend events in North Carolina until this law is repealed. If there’s an event I feel compelled to attend, I can require a North-Carolina-Bigot fee in addition to my usual speaking fee.

I’m not licensed to practice law in North Carolina, but I can do federal work from anywhere. I can choose not to accept clients from North Carolina, or limit my engagement to clients who have anti-discrimination policies and practices that include gender identity and sexual orientation.

I can have similar rules for products from North Carolina. (Don’t think I’m joking about this. I boycotted all the sponsors of the Sochi Olympic Games who didn’t openly oppose Russia’s anti-LGBT laws for the duration of the games.)

As a lawyer, I started thinking about contracts. I would support clients adding a provision to their contracts that requires clients to have anti-discrimination policies that include gender identity and sexual orientation and that the company must publicly oppose all applicable state and federal laws that would permit such discrimination. (Now my head is spinning with other ideas – like equal pay for men and women within the company.)

Until this law is repealed, I hope someone makes a video similar to this, asking people if they brought their birth certificate to government buildings to verify that they’re using the appropriate bathroom – much like this guy asked white people if they were immigrants in the SB 1070 days in Arizona.

My hat goes off to the many companies that have already spoken out against this new law including Marriott, Apple, Google, PayPal, and the National Basketball Association. I hope more people and companies will do what they can to influence this situation. Every little bit helps.