I was a gymnast from age 4 to 23. I was a competitive gymnast for 8 of those years. Gymnastics was more than a sport for me – it was a lifestyle. Not doing it was never an option. When I struggled with injuries, I just had to find a way to work through or around the pain.

Rocky & His Girls, 1993

I had an amazing coach during my competitive career named Rocky Kees. He brought out the best in me and all my teammates. That man was gymnastics magic. I absolutely loved training with him.  It was one of the best times of my life. And Rocky taught me more than gymnastics. He taught me life skills that I carry with me to this day.

One of Rocky’s mantras was, “Get a helmet.” It was his way of saying, “Suck it up” but it had an added element of respect for how hard our work was. He respected that gymnastics was hard or scary, but he wouldn’t tell us to do anything that we couldn’t do. We all heard, “Get a helmet” on a regular basis. To this day, I can post “It’s a Get A Helmet kind of day” on Facebook and I’ll get lots of acknowledgements from my former teammates.

Post-It Above My Desk

“Get a Helmet” has become my mantra for building my law firm. I have it written on a little post-it note above my desk. Every day comes with its own set of challenges, whether it’s managing my calendar, balancing the books, doing client work, writing my book, or marketing the hell out of myself and my firm. There are a lot of things I’d rather not do, but that’s not really an option when you run a one-person shop.  Sometimes I get tired, frustrated, and unmotivated. That’s when I look up at that post-it note, take a deep breath, and soldier on.

Remembering to “Get a Helmet” keeps my eye on the prize. I’m not asking myself to do anything impossible. It’s just hard and scary. I can handle that.

North Star Circa RMNP by Jasen Miller

Some days I’m profoundly aware of the fact that I’m an existentialist. This is one of those days.

I’ve always had to look for the deeper meaning of things. I’m driven by the possibility that what I do makes a difference, that people or things are changed because of something I did. I need to know that what I do has an impact.

Some people have children, and through them they have an inherent legacy that will live on. I have no intention of procreating, so I’m left with the possibility that I will not know what my legacy is because we don’t always know when we make a difference.

In my professional life, I have to change jobs when it stops being meaningful. When I go too long without thinking, “This is why I do what I do,” it’s time for me to move on. Before law school, I was a mental health therapist. There were days when I knew what I did mattered and other days where I felt like I was paid conversation. There have been instances where I’ve run into my past client since leaving the profession where they thanked me for the work I did when I thought I wasn’t doing anything.

My friend told me I should have outgrown this mind set when I finished college, and I’m sure it would make certain things easier. I accept that I am what I am and that it comes with the constant questioning and searching for meaning.

Rosie!

I’m not sure what brought on this self-reflection. Maybe it’s because a friend recently had a major heart attack or the fact that the anniversary of another friend’s death just passed. Both of these people were young and vibrant when they encountered unexpected medical emergencies, and one didn’t survive. Danielle Zeder reminded us at Ignite Phoenix #12 that the only guarantees in life are birth and death. We don’t know how much time we have in between and it’s important that we use that time well.

I feel lucky that I’m crafting the life I’ve always wanted. I have my own business, a basset hound who adores me, a singing voice that’s comparable to the angels, and a host of people in my life that I love and who love me. Sometimes I worry that I’m not doing enough to create my legacy, but then I have to step back and remember that that story will be someone else’s to tell. My job is in the here and now.

Two Christmases ago I asked Santa Claus for a Koosh ball.  I’m not good at holding still in general and I have tendency to pace and fuss when I’m thinking. I wanted a big softball size Koosh ball that I could toss between my hands while I paced around the house.

Walter Ball!!

Unfortunately, they don’t make the larger Koosh balls anymore. It’s a vintage toy, and my Santa wasn’t about to scour eBay with the hopes of finding me one.  Instead she found me a large blue ball with rubber hair in the toy section of the local drug store.  (The smaller tennis ball size Koosh ball is still available for purchase.)

Originally, the ball wasn’t going to have a name, but I while I was still home for Christmas that year, Mom referred to it as “Walter.” She meant to call it “Wilson” after the movie Cast Away. From then on, I couldn’t help but call it my “Walter ball.”

I guess Walter has become a signature fixture on my desk, kind of like my version of Dr. House’s oversized tennis ball or Captain Sisko’s baseball.  I toss it between my hands and squeeze it when I think. It is the only toy that is allowed to be on my desk. If you watch my interview on copyright infringement on Pinterest on AZ Family, you can catch a glimpse of Walter at 1:39.

Walter has been on a few adventures with me, though his size makes traveling with my unfeasible most of time. I have a world-traveling red plastic slinky that travels with me and loved one when we visit new places. Walter made the journey from my parents’ house in California to Phoenix. He also went with me to Lift Off earlier this year. I remember sitting on Pam Slim’s therapy ball and tossing Walter between my hands while I listened to her and Charlie Gilkey impart their wisdom on the best way to build my business. At one point in the weekend, we all got to draw our ideal offices. My drawing included a spot for Walter on my desk. All my other geek toys were relegated to the shelf behind me.

My friend RJ knows that I was one of the least stressed people during finals week during law school. She asked me to share my wisdom with all of you. So here are my top 10 tips for surviving law school finals.

1. 

   Law School Textbooks (Photo credit: Jesse Michael Nix)

   Identify your Goals. You may have been at the top of your class in high school and undergrad, but in law school, you are surrounded by severely smart people and only one of you can set the curve. I went to law school to learn the law so my goal for every final was just to pass. For most people, that goal is enough, unless you want a judicial clerkship or a job at a super prestigious law firm that will only talk to you if you’re in the top 10% of the class.

2. Study When you Can. There will be times when you can’t focus to save your life and you’d rather clean your house than read your outline. When those times hit, put down your notes and pick up a broom. Studying is about quality, not quantity. If you’re not being productive, take a break.
3. Study Where you Can. Some people can only study in the library. Some people have to be anywhere but the library. Being in the law school tended to make me really anxious, so I avoided it like the plague during finals.
4. Use Study Techniques that Work for You. Don’t feel the need to have big beautiful 100-page outline if something else works better for you, like flash cards.
5. Don’t Bother Studying Right After a Final. Your brain will be toast. Go get something to eat and get a good night’s sleep before your next study session.
6. Get to the Test Room Early and Set Up Camp. I didn’t like people too close to me during exams so I’d get to exams early and set up camp. I always had water, soda, apple slices, Jolly Ranchers, a sweatshirt, pens, pencils, my computer, and my notes. I’d spread my stuff out and put my bag on the chair next to me so no one could sit next to me.
7. Make the Instructor Laugh. You will get more points if you entertain the person who is grading your test. My professor for civil procedure called parties in the cases we read “morons” so I looked for an opportunity to call someone a moron on my final. My trademark law professor had a tendency to swear in class so when he asked what I’d tell the client in the hypo on the final, I wrote, “I’d say, ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me if you think you have a case.’”
8. Don’t Talk About the Test After the Test. Once you turn in your test and walk out of the room, don’t think or talk about the test. There’s nothing you can do at that point to change the outcome. I used to yell at people who talked about the test after the test.
9. Don’t Panic. I wrote about the seven layers of academic hell during law school. The seventh layer is “Fuck It.” You want to get to that level as soon as possible. No matter what, stay calm while you’re studying or taking a test.
10. Don’t Check Your Grades. After my first semester of law school, I never checked my grades. At the end of each semester I sent the assistant dean of my law school an email to make sure I passed. Since my goal was to pass, I never needed to know what my grades, GPA, or class rank were – and I was a happier person for it.

Good luck to everyone taking finals. Kick some ass!

Related articles

• 3 Pointers For Success in Law School (usnews.com)
• How to get ahead of your classmates at Law School (gemmajallen.wordpress.com)
• 5 Funny But True Tips On How To Become A Lawyer (hellobeautiful.com)

Shoe Shopping by Jerine Lay

Recently, I was contacted by a law student at Arizona State University. She and her friends noticed that all the winners of the Oplinger Closing Argument Competition since at least 2005 have all been tall, thin/muscular, white males. She asked me to share my thoughts on this phenomenon.

To be fair, I must disclose that the majority of people who participate in this competition are men, so based on pure numbers, it’s more likely that a man will win. It raised a red flag for me when I heard that all the judges in the finals for this year’s competition were white men.  It made me wonder if the judges picked the best performer or if they were biased towards individuals who looked and sounded like them.

There is a general bias towards tall white men in our society. NPR reports that women make 77 cents on the dollar compared to their male counterparts and obese women make 12% less than thinner women. The shoe lift industry is thriving because taller people generally hold higher status jobs and are assumed to be more intelligent.

I have to be mindful of my own bias. If you look at my professional rolodex, the majority of my contacts are men. In my defense, I generally lean towards people who are leaders, low-drama, sci-fi geeks, and improv performers. This leads to having a lot more men in my sandbox than women. But, when it comes to picking a professional where gender is irrelevant, like a dentist or an accountant, I need to make sure don’t automatically pick a man.

In thinking about gender bias, I was reminded of a trial I watched during my summer with the Army JAG. The prosecuting attorney was a woman who was maybe 5 feet tall and 110 pounds. The defense attorney, Eric Mayer, towered over her at 6+ feet tall with broad shoulders, a chiseled jaw, and a stance that oozed confidence. I was completely intimidated by him. Both attorneys put on good cases and the defendant was ultimately convicted, but if you didn’t hear the case and only saw a snapshot of the courtroom, most people would suspect that the defense was going to win.

As professional speakers, men have an advantage. It’s easier for them to command a room because they generally take up more space and have deeper voices. They are socialized to be more assertive than women.  Conversely, women are socialized to be nice. They take up less space, especially when they’re teetering on heels, and their professional appearance requires them to be attractive, but not too pretty or sexy.  They generally use more qualifying statements and smile at inappropriate times.

Some women face an uphill battle when they want to establish themselves as professionals. Women have to be more mindful of how they talk compared to men. Everyone has an upper and lower voice. Most men speak in their lower voice; women have a tendency to speak in their upper voice. This makes them sounds more child-like and less professional. Women who up-talk are worse. If you up-talk, I will tune you out because the sound of your voice annoys me.

And women need to figure out how their boobs factor into their professional appearance. Big boobs can get you free drinks, but they can be a hindrance to moving up the corporate ladder as many people associate bigger breasts with lower intelligence or being less professionally focused. I’m very grateful I pass the pencil test.

Unfortunately, gender bias will not go away overnight, and I encourage everyone – men and women – to confront it when it occurs. According to my source, a judge at the Oplinger competition told one of the women that she was “too aggressive for a female.” Another female competitor reported that a judge told her that he docked points because she didn’t wear a skirt. I hope both those women told those judges to fuck off.

Related articles

• Women’s month highlights achievements of females and ongoing gender bias (examiner.com)
• We’re all Hens: Sweden Introduces Gender-Neutral Pronoun (neatorama.com)
• The War on Gender (knnaumann.wordpress.com)

All's Well That Inks Well by Chris Wightman

When I started law school, I thought I wanted to be a litigator. It would be fun to work on cases where you have to dig through case law and statutes to form viable arguments and to go to court. I had an externship supervisor who liked to give me needle-in-a-haystack problems and I was pretty good at finding him the cases he needed. I’ve also been a performer for most of my life and watching court taught me that the courtroom is the ultimate theatre.

And then I tried to schedule a networking lunch with a litigator.
I think I had to reschedule it four times before we were able to meet.

I learned when you are a litigator, your life is not your own. Your clients and the court own you. If your client gets sued on a Friday, you might be scrapping your weekend plans to work on the response or packing your bags to visit the client to do some on-site interviews and preliminary investigation.

I think I could be a good litigator, but I don’t want the lifestyle. I don’t want my vacation plans cancelled at the last minute because I have to attend a hearing. Some people thrive on that type of excitement, but it would make me absolutely crazy. I want to generally know when I’m working and when my time is my own. And when I’m on my own time, I’m not answering the office phone or email.

Transactional law comes with its own challenges, but so far I know well in advance what my deadlines are and I can plan for my long days and my days off. (Yes, I take days off. . . not many, but I have them.) So far in my practice, I’ve discovered drafting contracts gives me perverse pleasure. I’d rather work on the front end and prevent problems than to have to deal with the jumbled mess that results when everything falls apart because people didn’t have their ducks in a row at the beginning.

I have friends and acquaintances who are litigators and they’re lovely people, but when I schedule coffee or lunch with them, I expect it to get moved at least once. It comes with their territory. I respect it, and I’m glad I don’t live in it.

I had the pleasure of spending three days in Chicago last week for the American Bar Association TechShow. It was a geek-tastic time. I met a lot of wonderful people and learned a lot about ways law firms can use technology to be more efficient. Our keynote speaker was the awesome Ben Stein. It was weird to hear him speak with inflection in his voice. I also got to present on flash mob law during the Ignite-style kick-off event LexThink.1. The audience really seemed to enjoy it.

This was also my first real trip to Chicago. The conference didn’t give me much free time. I only had one evening and one afternoon to get in all my sightseeing. Chicago is known for having wonderful museums and an aquarium, but I skipped those. I am someone who can appreciate art, but I need a guide to tell me why things are significant or else it will be lost on me. Without a guide, I can walk through a museum in 10 minutes and wonder why I spent $20 for the experience. When I’m traveling alone, I prefer to use Roadside America to find a city’s quirky gems.

On the second night of the conference I decided I wanted to experience some Chicago flavor. I asked the doorman where I should go for real Chicago pizza. Without hesitation he said, “Lou Malnati’s.” It was a delightful little pizza place with wonderful deep dish Chicago-style pizza. I grew up on the west coast, so this was the first time I had to eat pizza with a fork and knife. If you want Chicago pizza, try this place.

After the conference was over, I had a few hours to take in the city with my cousin who lives in Chicago. He’s in a medical residency, so he doesn’t have time to see the city. He said there’s a wonderful architectural boat tour and a gangster bus tour in the city that he’d love to go on. Unfortunately our schedule didn’t allow for that so we took our own walking tour near the lake.

Our first stop was Millennium Park. I had to see Cloud Gate – aka “The Bean.” Despite it being a freezing cold day, there were a lot of people out to see the giant sculpture. Being an ex-gymnast, I had to do a handstand in front of it.

Our walk around Chicago also featured the Chicago Cultural Center, the Navy Pier, and the beginning of Route 66. I was tickled when I randomly encountered the statue of Bob Newhart and his couch. After I explained to my cousin who Bob Newhart was, I posed for a picture. It was odd to sit on a couch that was rock hard and ice cold. There was also a giant statue of Marilyn Monroe in her signature pose from The Seven Year Itch. We giggled when we walked around it and saw that the sculpture included an accurate depiction of her backside and panties. We also walked around Tribune Tower which has pieces of other buildings embedded in the outside like the Parthenon, the Taj Majal, the World Trade Center, The Alamo, and the Great Wall of China. I was little bummed when I didn’t find a piece of Stonehenge but I was happy to see that it had a piece from Antarctica.

It would have been nice to visit Willis Tower (formerly known as Sears Tower). They have a glass observation deck that sticks out over the street on the 103^rd floor. It would have been fun to do a handstand on that, but it was cloudy day and kind of expensive. Instead, my last adventure in Chicago was a ride back to the airport on the L.

This was my actual MBE score, still in its envelope. I did not open until after I found out I passed the bar exam.

It’s been about a month since the February 2012 Bar Exam. That means some people will be getting their multistate bar exam (MBE) results in the mail soon. My advice is do not open this envelope!

The MBE is the multiple choice section of the bar exam. Each state determines how much weight it will give to the multiple choice, essay, and performance test sections of their bar exam. In Arizona, the MBE counts for 50% of your score. It is still possible to fail the bar exam regardless of your MBE score. For some, learning that their score was above average on the MBE allows them to breathe a sigh of relief.

Arizona sends out MBE scores 5 weeks after the bar exam and posts the list of who passed 10 weeks after the bar exam. Do you want to find out that you’re in the lower half and have to wait another 5 weeks to see if your essay and performance test scores are high enough to give you a passing score?

If you get your MBE score before you find out if you passed the bar, I recommend that you take the unopened envelope, shove it in a drawer, and forget about it. That’s what I did, and I was a lot less stressed as a result. Opening the envelope would have increased my anxiety because it would have made me think more about my bar results and would have freaked me out if I was below the average.

My job was done when I turned my test in. There was nothing more I could do. Thinking about the results was not going to change anything.  After I learned I passed the bar, I did open my MBE envelope and saw that I performed above average. I still think I was less stressed and detached by not knowing any part of my score in advance. (I generally don’t talk about grades, but I thought I’d pre-answer this question.)

Making the commitment not to open my score was probably easier for me than most people because I didn’t look at my law school grades for my last 2.5 years of law school. I still don’t know how I did in law school except that I passed every class.

I made an offer to a friend of mine today who took the February Bar Exam. I told her if she didn’t want to see her MBE score when it arrives and she didn’t trust herself not to open it, she could give it to me and I would hold onto it for her.

I’d like to extend that offer to anyone who took the February 2012 Bar Exam or who is taking the July 2012 Bar Exam. If you don’t want to see your MBE score, but you don’t trust yourself to resist the temptation to look, feel free to give or send it to me. I will hold onto it for you until you tell me to return it. Send me an email if you’re interested.

Stephanie Horn at Ignite Phoenix #7 by MoLo_trash

Ignite Phoenix is one of the best events I’ve ever participated in. Each Ignite features a series of presenters and each one has 5 minutes and 20 PowerPoint slides that advance every 15 seconds to share one of their passions. LexThink.1 is based on Ignite, except each presenter gets 6 minutes and 20 slides that advance every 18 seconds.

I’ve been involved with Ignite Phoenix for over two years, and it’s been one of the best experiences of my life. I had the pleasure of speaking at Ignite Phoenix #5, and I’ve volunteered at eight other Ignite Phoenix events. My usual volunteer role is assistant stage managing. I help wrangle and orient the presenters before the show and make sure the presenters are on the stage at the right time with the right microphone attached to their body.

Here are my top 10 tips for presenting in an Ignite-style format.

1.  Wear Clothes that Accommodate the Microphone: Wear an outfit that has a structured shirt that can handle having a microphone clipped to it. Wear pants or a skirt so there’s a waistband or back pockets to attach the transmitter to. At one Ignite event, we had a presenter wear a dress. I had to go up the back of her dress and clip the transmitter to her bra.

2.  Limit your Message: When you’re watching the clock, 18 seconds seems like a long time, but it’s not when you’re speaking. I recently watched one of my favorite Ignite Phoenix presentations. On average, he said 3-4 sentences per slide. Don’t try to say more than that.

3.  Use Awesome Pictures: Your voice provides the words of your message. Your slides should enhance it, not simply repeat it. Choose interesting photos that embody the message or emotion behind your verbal message. Don’t use bulleted lists and avoid superfluous words. Seth Godin recommends using 6 words or less on each slide.

4.  Have Permission to use every Image: Make sure you own or have permission to use every image in your presentation. Select images that have Creative Commons licenses that allow you commercialize and modify the original work.

5.  Allow Time for Laughter when you have Hilarious Pictures, Stories, or Ideas.

6.  Memorize your Presentation: You don’t have to memorize your presentation word-for-word, but you should not need notes on stage. Your slides should be a sufficient guide. One of the worst Ignite presentations I ever saw was one where the presenter read his entire presentation off his phone.

7.  Practice, Practice, Practice:  You cannot practice your presentation enough. Go through it multiple times per day, out loud, with the slides set to advance every 18 seconds. There is no other way to get comfortable presenting in the Ignite format.

8.  Turn Off your Phone: You don’t want your phone to ring during your presentation. You don’t even want you phone in your back pocket set on vibrate because you may have friends who are evil enough to call you while you’re presenting just to see the look on your face when your butt starts vibrating.

9.  Have Fun: Ignite Phoenix has one of the best audiences to present in front of. They are so supportive and excited for each presenter. I hope the LexThink.1 audience is the same.

10.  I purposely left tip #10 blank. Dozens of people have graced the Ignite Phoenix, Ignite Phoenix After Hours, and Ignite Food stage. If you have presented at any Ignite event, in Phoenix or elsewhere, please leave a comment with what you think the tenth tip should be.

I’m very excited to present at LexThink.1. See you in Chicago!

Classic Pin-up Pose with Cell Phone by Frank Kovalchek

I have been with Verizon for as long as I’ve had a cell phone. They provide great service. I have reception almost everywhere I go. However, I was disappointed when I went shopping for a new phone last week.

My first smartphone was the LG Ally. It was simple, and it worked for my needs. I didn’t need or want a super fancy phone. I needed a phone that allowed me to make calls, check email, and update Twitter. The LG Ally fit my needs, it was small enough to fit in my hand and in the front my pocket of my jeans, and I preferred the pop-out keyboard to the touch screen. It was a good phone until I added Google+ and my phone ran out of space. It was time to update.

I walked into my Verizon store, held up my phone, and basically said, “I need this with more space.” I was disappointed to learn that Verizon’s current phone selection does not cater to women’s needs. I walked out of there with a new LG phone, but it’s not a phone that was made for me.

For one, my new phone is too big for my child-size hand. I used to be able to use my phone one-handed, but that’s a thing of the past. It’s obvious the people who designed my phone did not try it out on small-framed women.

I learned that one the reasons why my phone is so big is because it has a bigger screen to better accommodate the touchscreen. Verizon had few phones that had a pop-out keyboard. I was frustrated that the clerk who was helping me failed to mention that I didn’t have this feature until he had run my credit card. Apparently, “I need this with more space,” only meant “I need a phone” to him. The upside to not having a pop-out keyboard is my new phone has few moving parts so it will be harder for me to break it and it can have protective rubber cover. So far, I’m not thrilled about using the touchscreen and I hate autocorrect.

I told the clerk that I needed a phone that would fit in my pocket. He said his phone fit in his pocket. I had to remind him that there’s a big difference in the amount of space guys get for their pockets compared to women. Women’s pants have micro-pockets, if they have pockets at all. My clerk pointed to my bag and said, “It’ll fit in there.” What about when I don’t want to carry a bag? My new phone only fits in my back pocket so I’m good as long as I don’t sit down.

My grateful Verizon gives me two weeks to try out a new phone. I may take it back and see if they have something better suited for women…but I’m not holding my breath. I thought I was being petty about my phone until I shared my concerns with other women and they exasperatedly agreed that their phones weren’t made for them either.

If any woman has a phone that fits in her hand and her front pocket comfortably, please let me know what it is. I’d be interested in trying it out.