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Top 3 Tools to Establish a Name for Yourself

Oct 30th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
4 comments

When I was a law student and now as a young lawyer, I go to a lot of networking events. They’re a great way to meet people in your community. There are other tools that will help you make a name for yourself online and at the national level. I wanted to share my three favorite tools. There are other ways to make a name for yourself, but these are the top three that work for me.

The Twitter Bird by eldh

1. Twitter
I’ve been a huge proponent of Twitter for a long time. It’s my primary networking tool when there’s someone new I want to meet. All you have to do is follow the person you want to meet and wait for an opportunity to respond to one of their tweets. It’s a great and easy way to break the ice with someone without feeling forced or fake.

If the person is going to be at an upcoming event, tweet at them about how excited you are to see or meet them. Then during the event tweet a quote from them or an accolade about them. After the event, be sure to tweet about how awesome they were/are.

2. Maintain a Blog
Having a blog is a great way to showcase your expertise and interests. At networking events and interviews you can talk about your interests or you can prove it by referencing past blog posts you’ve written on a topic. Maintaining a blog is a lot of work but it’s worth it. It’s not enough to start a blog. You have to update it regularly – preferably weekly – and be patient while you build a following. It takes a while to get there.

If you are someone who is lucky enough to have an assistant, it’s ok to let them take care of posting your work to your website, finding images for your posts, and taking care of your SEO stuff, but don’t let them write your verbiage. Your readers want to hear your unique voice so write your posts yourself.

3. Help A Reporter Out (HARO)
HARO is one of the best ways to get local and national exposure as a potential expert in your field. HARO is a service that connects reporters with potential sources. You can subscribe to HARO for free and you will get 3 emails a day, 5 days per week with dozens of opportunities to share your experience or expertise.

Most of the requests won’t apply to you, but some of them will – and you need to respond quickly if you want to be a contributor. A lot of the reporters who use HARO are on tight deadlines. I usually respond to at least one HARO every week. It’s especially beneficial when I can include a link to a blog post I’ve written on a topic – I think it increases the odds that a reporter will use me for a story over a lawyer who doesn’t blog on the topic.

You can also use HARO to network by referring a reporter to others who might be a good fit for their needs or by referring contact to HARO if a reporter is looking for input that they can provide.

There are lots of ways to make yourself stand out within your profession and the business community. These are some of my favorite tools, but it is definitely not an exhaustive list. If you have a tool or technique that you’d like to share, please leave it as a comment.

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Election 2012: Negating Evil

Oct 23rd, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
No comments yet
I Voted by stephenyeargin

I was working on my ballot over the weekend and I realized this year, more than any previous year, I’m not voting for candidates as much as I’m voting against their opposition.

I Voted by stephenyeargin

I Voted by stephenyeargin from Flickr

Ever since I was old enough to vote, I’ve always voted by mail with the exception of one minor one-item ballot. I can spend weeks preparing my ballot. Most of the summaries provided by candidates in the voting materials are worthless so I do my own research. It’s common for me to email candidates questions about the issues that matter most to me and I have spreadsheets that help me keep track of where candidate platforms align with my views.

I’ve never voted a straight party ticket because I don’t feel like I belong in any political party. Most people would say that I’m fiscally conservative and socially liberal. I prefer to say I’m logical and sane.

Technically I’m a registered Republican but i should probably be an Independent. I changed my party affiliation this year so I could vote in the Arizona presidential primary. I will continue to change my political party as needed to maximize my voting rights and opportunities.

I’ve received a lot of phone calls from people taking political polls this election cycle. I almost always say I don’t know who I’m voting for in any race because I have strong objections to almost every candidate’s platform. One person asked me which candidate I preferred in a particular race and I responded, “Neither. They both suck.” In many races I feel like I’m voting for the lesser of the two evils, but this election is worse than usual when it comes to my options for state and national positions.

More than ever I feel like I’m performing a balancing act with my ballot. I tried to find candidates that mostly fit with my views and vote other people into office who will make it hard for them to pass bills into law on issues where I disagree with their position.

I find political ads obnoxious and I change the channel whenever I see one. A television ad isn’t going to change my vote. I recycle every political ad that arrives in my mailbox without looking at them. Whenever I get a political robo-call, I hold the phone away from my ear so I don’t have to hear it and I find satisfaction in tying up the line for a minute so they can’t annoy someone else.

I believe you have to vote to maintain your right to bitch. I have a feeling I’ll be bitching not matter who ends up in office because the people who would be best suited for a position are not found on the ballot.

Coming Out Day 2012

Oct 9th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
2 comments

October 11th is National Coming Out Day. (In case you didn’t know, I’m bisexual.) I wish holiday didn’t have to exist. I wish sexual orientation was a non-issue and that people could be attracted to any gender without anyone raising an eyebrow.

Rainbow Flag

Rainbow Flag (Photo credit: Rev Dan Catt)

Unfortunately, we’re not there yet. Children across this country and the world are being told that they’re going to hell if they’re gay. (I generally try to stay out of people’s religious beliefs when it comes to who/what they worship, but I take issue when a minority is being told they’re going to hell for something they can’t control.) These kids are being teased so badly in school it’s driving some of them to drop out or commit suicide. Depending on which study you read, 20-40% of homeless youth are LGBT.

This problem continues into adult society where many people can still be fired because of their sexual orientation. And in most states, a committed homosexual couple is treated differently under the law than a committed heterosexual couple. The question that comes up for me is “Why do you care?” If you’re a hetero, two homos getting married does not pose a threat to you or your relationship. Why should you get over a thousand benefits under the law when you get married but they can’t? It broke my heart when I learned that at least one person in my family voted in favor of Prop 8 in California in 2008, and my family knows that I’m queer.

I also don’t understand people who say that gay unions should be legal but the word “marriage” should be reserved only for hetero couples. Seriously? The Supreme Court ruled that separate isn’t equal a long time ago. I don’t care if you call it “marriage,” “civil union,” or “oogie boogie,” whatever term you want to use for governmentally recognized homo unions should be the same as hetero unions. If individuals and religious organizations want to use a different word, that’s their prerogative.

We’ve made a lot of progress in terms of gay rights in the last few decades. I try to remember how far we’ve come when I feel like a lonely gay in a hetero world. It gives me hope that it will get better and some day we’ll be equals.

This is the song that reminds me that even when I feel like a freak, I’m not a freak alone.

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Escaping School Bullies

Oct 2nd, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
2 comments

October is Bullying Prevention Month. Bullying is one of my passions because this is an issue that is literally life-and-death for some young people. It’s a pervasive problem in our schools and the online community. This past summer I was asked to share my thoughts on a study that found that 17% of middle schoolers experienced bullying. The study’s sentiment seemed to portray the message that bullying “isn’t so bad.” The interviewer changed his tone when I pointed out that the findings suggested that nearly 1 in 5 children were being targeted, possibly tortured.

Self-Portrait #23 by Robby McKee

I believe that stopping bullying requires a multi-faceted approach that involves the school and the parents. The child who is being bullied needs support and the bully needs to be assessed to determine the cause of their behavior as well. Schools and parents also have the responsibility to foster a sense of acceptance in students to decrease the chance that a person or group will be taunted. If the school refuses to do its job and protect these victimized students, then the families needs to turn to higher authorities which may include the school board and/or the police. No child should be afraid to go to school.

Today I began to ponder what a child’s options might be if they can’t stand being in school anymore. I don’t support children dropping out of school in general, but for some, that’s their best chance for being safe. I’m very proud of what Caleb Laieski did a few years ago. He dropped out of school on his 16th birthday, the earliest date he could legally quit school, to escape the bullying he was forced to endure. He has since earned his GED and works in the Phoenix Mayor’s Office. I hope he’s a role model for other similarly situated students.

Caleb was able to withstand the bullying until his 16th birthday, but some students are not so fortunate. What do you tell a 14 year-old who is bullied every day – to hang in there ‘til he turns 16? I don’t think so. That could set the child up to commit suicide before he turns 16. These children have options to escape their tormenters and they should take advantage of them.

  1. Online School: If you’re going to attend an online school, make sure it’s a legitimate school with a demanding curriculum. Apparently there are a lot of scams out there.
  2. Home Schooling: When you opt to be home schooled, make sure you follow all the applicable laws and regulations set by the county. The woman I talked to today at the GED office said you’ll still have to take the GED.
  3. Community College: I called Rio Salado Community College today and they said a 14 year-old could be enrolled with a special admission. You have to take a placement test to make sure that you’re academically ready for college-level work. You will also have to take the GED when you turn 16.

I will vehemently oppose any proposed legislation that would require children to be in school until their 18th birthdays. Until the education system can effectively prevent bullying in schools, children need a way to escape when they are in a worst-case scenario.

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I Want Gay Couples on the Kiss Cam

Sep 18th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
2 comments

I was at the Arizona Diamondbacks/San Francisco Giants game on Sunday, September 16th. Some time during every game they do the “Kiss Cam” where they put couples on the jumbotron and try to get them to kiss. This is also when we see marriage proposals during the game. It’s cheesy but it’s sweet.

Jamie and Lisa

I don’t go to many Major League Baseball games, but out of all the games I’ve gone to, I’ve never seen them put a same-sex couple on the Kiss Cam. I put the question out to my Facebook friends and none of them had ever seen a same-sex couple on the Kiss Cam either. It makes me wonder if the Diamondbacks are homophobic, or if they are afraid to acknowledge supports for gay couples.

One of my friends suggested that perhaps the Diamondbacks as an organization are not homophobic but they are concerned about the backlash that might occur if they show a same-sex couple kissing in the stadium. She brings up a good question: how many people would stop attending Diamondbacks games if a gay couple kissed on the jumbotron? Would there big protests like they had Chick-Fil-A?

Sam and Clinton

I’m of the belief that if you’re not attracted to people of the same gender, don’t date them. It doesn’t make homosexuality wrong. It’s like any other sexual attraction and everyone has their deal-breaker quaities. Just as some people won’t date someone if they are a smoker or have kids, other people require certain genitalia on their partners. I’m bisexual so the junk in your pants isn’t going to be the deal-breaker for me and that may help me view sexual orientation differently than others. To me, it’s ok if you’re not attracted to someone, but it’s not ok to say that another person is sick or wrong if they are attracted to them.

Tyler and Krys – They’re Straight

Another friend brought up the question of how would the camera operator know if two people are a couple or just friends. That’s a challenge that the camera operators already deal with. I’ve seen them put people on the Kiss Cam who are siblings or otherwise not in a romantic relationship. Innocent mistakes happen. If they see two people kissing during the game, that’s a good indicator they’re a couple.

The Arizona Diamondbacks, and all professional sports teams who have a Kiss Cam during their games, have an obligation to treat all their patrons equally, which means putting heterosexuals and homosexual couples on the jumbotron.  They have an opportunity as leaders in their communities to demonstrate their acceptance of homosexuality, that sexual orientation should be a non-issue, and that two people in love is not a threat to other relationships.

If you have professional sport team that does a Kiss Cam during their games, tell them that you want same-sex couples on it. If they already do it, thank them.

Special thanks to my friends Jamie, Lisa, Sam, and Clinton for letting me use your photos. Much love to all of you! Thanks Victor Moreno for letting me use your photo Tyler and Krys.

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Why Don’t People Return Their Shopping Carts?

Sep 11th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
39 comments

I was walking through a parking lot the other day and I saw at least 8 shopping carts that the previous user did not return to the store or cart return area. This is something that has been bothering me for weeks – why do people think it’s ok to not return their carts? I think when you use a cart, you have a responsibility to use it properly and return it when you’re done.

Cart by Rick Hall, Undeniable Ruth

Cart by Rick Hall

I posted a question about it on Facebook  and I was shocked when the first 4 commenters admitted that they regularly don’t return their carts. These were their excuses in a nutshell:

  1. I have my kids with me.
  2. I physically can’t walk that far.
  3. By leaving my cart out, I’m keeping a clerk/cart attendant employed.
  4.  If the cart return is more than a few spaces away, I’m not going to use it.

I don’t buy any of those excuses.

  1. Take your kids with you to return your cart or lock them in the car for the 1-2 minutes it takes you to return the cart. If the kid is old enough, make the kid return it for you.
  2. The store will assign a clerk to assist you to your car, load your groceries, and take your cart back for you upon request.
  3. Bullshit – The store will still employ a clerk to collect the carts from cart returns.
  4. Are you fucking kidding me?

My mother had me 21 months after giving birth to twins. I called her and she said she always returns her cart. If she can shop with 3 babies and not leave a cart in the middle of the parking lot, you would be hard pressed to find a valid reason (besides an extreme emergency) for not returning your cart.

This problem and all the comments on my Facebook page about this issue made me wonder what’s the underlying issue here. Is it laziness? Entitlement? Selfishness? Thoughtlessness?

How would you feel if your car was dented by a rogue shopping cart that was blown into your car by a strong gust of wind?

How would you feel if the teenage clerk got hit by a car while retrieving the cart you failed to put away?

Shopping carts are expensive. When they’re damaged they need to be replaced. Stores pass that cost along to you. Don’t bitch about the cost of groceries if you’re part of the problem.

My obvious reaction to this problem is to scream “Put your fucking cart away!” but I think the bigger challenge is to address the pervasive underlying problem and ask how do we create a community where people think beyond the immediate moment and consider the greater good for themselves and others?

How Do You Know If You’re Too Fat To Fly?

Aug 7th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
15 comments

Earlier this summer someone I know was told at the airport that, due to her size, she had to buy a second seat. She had to cancel her trip because she couldn’t afford another ticket on the spot. (The story is a bit more complicate than that, but that’s the gist for the purposes of this post.)

I fully support airline policies that state if you’re wider than the seat you purchased, you must purchase a second seat so that you’re not encroaching on anyone’s space and each customer can have the same high-quality flying experience. There’s nothing wrong with this policy. The problem is customers aren’t informed enough at the point of purchase to know whether they need a second seat.

Best Seat On Southwest Airline Flights

Best Seat On Southwest Airline Flights by Danny Sullivan

Southwest Airlines is my go-to domestic carrier. They have great prices and generally have a lot of flights to places I want to go. On a recent trip, I flew Southwest and every flight coming and going was delayed. (Grrr.) This gave me a chance to do some premier people watching. It appeared that many people in the airport were on the cusp of being what Southwest calls a “customer of size.” It made me wonder how would a customer know if they qualify as a customer of size.

I had to do some digging, but I found Southwest’s policy on customers of size. Their policy states that each customer must fit into the 17-inch seat with both armrests down or they must purchase a second seat. If their flight is not full, they may receive a refund for their second seat after their flight.

I had to search Southwest’s website to find this information. Given that over 35% of U.S. adults are obese, it makes more sense to put a notice on the reservation page that states that customers who are more than 17 inches wide when seated should purchase a second seat or they will risk being asked to purchase a second seat at the airport. That way the customer is fully informed of the policy when making the purchase and they know the risk they’re taking when if they’re a customer of size and don’t purchase an extra seat.

Apparently Southwest is being sued because they’re not informing customers of its policy or enforcing it uniformly. Kenlie Tiggeman said the reservation page doesn’t inform customers about the customer of size policy and that sometimes she’s forced to buy an extra seat and sometimes she’s not.  I agree that customers need to know upfront that they need to purchase an extra seat if they are more than 17 inches wide, but there will always be people who are over the limit who don’t purchase a seat who will be allowed to board. Every customer shouldn’t be forced to prove they’re 17 inches wide or less before boarding a Southwest flight.

To enforce the policy more uniformly, I think every airline with a policy regarding large passengers should have an airline seat in the terminal where customers can test themselves and airline personnel can check to make sure a passenger will fit in one seat.  This provides a fair and objective test for everyone involved.

I feel bad for the customer and the airline representative when there has to be a conversation about a passenger’s size and whether they need a second seat. It’s a situation that must be handled delicately. However, I won’t feel as bad for customers who knew exactly what the policy was before purchasing a ticket and risked being told they had to purchase an extra one at the airport or not fly.

I Want to Wear Your Art

Jul 31st, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
No comments yet

In case you didn’t know it, I love wearing custom t-shirts. I see myself as the lawyer who wears t-shirts. I think it works when it comes to working with entrepreneurs. I have quite a few shirts that were made at Brand X Custom T-shirts in Tempe.  They make the shirts for Ignite Phoenix and they’ve made quite a few custom pieces for me.

Ruth Carter at Phoenix Comicon, Photo by Devon Christopher Adams

Speaking at Phoenix Comicon – Photo by Phoenix Comicon and Devon Christopher Adams

Brand X has made me spoiled when it comes to my shirts. They carry the super soft American Apparel shirts. I rarely buy a t-shirt if it’s not as soft as the Brand X shirts. I had trouble shirt shopping at Phoenix Comicon because most vendors use cheaper shirts which are somewhat stiff and itchy compared to Brand X.

I have quite a few ideas for verbiage for shirts. I think my next custom shirt will be hot pink and have my Twitter handle on the front (@rbcarter) and say “Do Epic Shit” across the back in white lettering. (Thank you to Charlie Gilkey for inspiring this shirt.) I also want to have a running shirt made for my next half marathon that says “Masochist” on the front and “Run Bitch” on the back.

I want to expand my shirt collection to include more shirts with artwork on it. I was recently in San Francisco. I saw a craft booth near the Ferry Building where a vendor was selling shirts with original artwork on them. I saw a tank top with a line drawing of an octopus wearing glasses on it. It was so random and wonderful. If I had more disposable income, I would have bought it.

I would love to have more shirts with original artwork in it, but I have no artistic talent when it comes to drawing, so I invite all of my readers to send me artwork that you think I should turn into a shirt. Please send me your line drawings of pictures or patterns that would only require 1 color to put on a shirt, in PDF form, to Ruth@CarterLawAZ.com.

Legal Disclaimer: There’s no guarantee that I’ll have every shirt made, but I promise if I have a shirt made with your artwork that I’ll attribute the art to you and publish a photo of the shirt on this site. By sending me art work, you attest that the art is your original work and that I have permission to put it on a t-shirt and if I get sued for copyright infringement because of what you send me, agree to indemnify me against all claims for copyright infringement and to pay for all my related legal expenses.

Brand X is always on my wish list for my birthday and Christmas. This year instead of asking for gift cards, Brand X is letting me build a registry of all the shirts I want to have made which will eliminate all the guesswork. I hope some new original art will be added to my wardrobe soon!

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If You Waste My Time, I’m Sending You A Bill

Jul 3rd, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
6 comments

I hate going to the dentist. I’ve lived in Phoenix for over eight years and I have yet to find a dentist that I like as a person and an office I don’t dread going to. I particularly hate dentist offices that have the open setting where each patient has their own chair and equipment but you’re in a big room or a room with only three walls and you can hear and see a lot of what’s going on with other people.

Watch Coin Tails by SkrewTape

Watch Coin Tails by SkrewTape

My new dentist is no exception. I arrived about 10 minutes before my appointment time, signed in, and they ignored me for about 10 minutes before asking me to fill out the new patient paperwork.  I filled out the paperwork and waited another 15 minutes before being called back. When I made the appointment, the receptionist said each patient got a separate room – wrong! I got a bay with three walls. The dental assistant took my x-rays which aren’t fun for me and my small mouth and said it would be 5 to 7 minutes. No problem – I popped on my iPod to pass the time. Five songs later, the dentist still wasn’t there.  I took out my earbuds and chatted with the assistant for another 10 minutes.

When the dentist finally came in, he didn’t use my name, shake my hand, or look me in the eye. I was pissed. He spent about 5 minutes with me and said they’d have to schedule my cleaning for another day. I was livid. It was at that moment I decided that I need to have mutual agreements with all my providers that state we won’t waste each other’s time and if we do, we can send the other a bill. Seriously!

I will agree to be on-time for all my appointments, do any requested prep work, and fill out any paperwork they send me in advance. I expect to be seen by a provider within 10 minutes of my appointment time and not to be left waiting more than 5 minutes if I’m seeing multiple providers in a visit. If I’m made to wait more than this amount time, the clock starts ticking at I will bill them at $100/hour in .1-hour increments. If I’m ever late or unprepared, you can bill me at $100/hour in .1-hour increments if they have to wait for me. The invoice will need to be sent within 7 calendar days of the service and payment must be remitted within 30 days of the invoice date.

That seems fair, right?

For my legal eagle readers, this is a valid contract if I draft it and the provider accepts it, right? I’ll be totally upfront and send it to the provider in advance for their review. At first I just wanted to bill them for wasting my time, but I figured the billing needed to go both ways to get consideration.

I understand that sometimes things happen and people run late. Unfortunately, that’s how some people run their lives and their businesses. If you work in a service industry, you have an obligation to respect your clients’ time. I don’t know about you, but I’m busy. And I’m not just picking on dentists – this is for all service providers. If you’re going to waste my time, I want to make it worth my while.

Don’t Lose Your Personality When You Get Your JD

Jun 12th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
8 comments
Foot tattoos Ruth Carter

My Awesome Tattoos

I got an interesting email from a friend over the weekend. He just graduated from law school and is studying for the bar. He’s also training for an ironman race. He’s been in fabulous shape for as long as I’ve known him and his preferred running outfit is teeny tiny running shorts and sneakers. He doesn’t put a shirt over his tattooed chest. When he was in school he lived near campus but now he lives downtown near the courthouses and a lot of the big law firms. He was concerned that his running attire could have a negative impact on his career if judges and lawyers saw him. He wrote to me asking for my thoughts.

I told him the same thing I tell everyone: “Don’t do anything in public that you wouldn’t put on the front page of the paper.” If you’re ok with being seen shirtless and in little shorts in the newspaper, why would you have a problem with judges and lawyers seeing you? They’re just people. And who’s to say they haven’t already seen you? Most people are so oblivious that they wouldn’t figure out that you were the shirtless guy if they met you at a professional event.

My friend’s question made me reflect on my early days as a law student. I was told that I should change my clothes, my hair, and even my sunglasses before I started law school. I took out my excess piercings and kept the tattoos on my feet covered with shoes, dark socks, and tattoo concealer. I gave all that up and was back to being 100% myself by the end of my 2L year. I was happier for it and got more professional opportunities as a result of being me instead of trying to fit the law student mold.

Why are lawyers seemingly held to a different social standard than other people? When we graduate from law school, we don’t suddenly all become interested in golf, going to tea, or smoking cigars. Lawyers should never give up their personality or interests because they’re lawyers. I see nothing wrong with a lawyer being a shirtless runner in their free time, or even something more daring like a burlesque dancer or a nudist. It’s no more shocking than any other fringe activity like having extreme religious beliefs or seeing your favorite band live in concert 33 times. As long as you’re not hurting anyone or breaking the law, let your freak flag fly!

I can see where my friend might be concerned because he doesn’t have a job lined up after the bar. Bug here’s something else to think about – if you have to hide who you are to get a job, is it a job you really want? I’m not saying that you should flaunt your eccentricities, but you shouldn’t have to hide them either.

The only other advice I can offer of this topic is the wisdom that was bestowed upon me by my friend Evo Terra. He said to figure out whose opinions truly matter to you and then don’t give a shit about what anyone else thinks. It’s easier said than done, but those are definitely words to live by.

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