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Enough with the Digital Panty Throwing

May 14th, 2013
by Ruth Carter.
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Keep your digital panties on people!

I love Twitter. It’s my favorite social media platform. I love that it provides an easy way to start a conversation with someone you wouldn’t otherwise have a chance to talk to other than sending an awkward email. One lesson that’s been drilled into my head by my social media expert friends is that social media is a communications tool. It’s not a digital billboard.

From Improv AZ's 2010 No Pants Light Rail Ride by Devon Christopher Adams

From Improv AZ’s 2010 No Pants Light Rail Ride by Devon Christopher Adams

One thing that annoys me on Twitter is what I call “digital panty throwing.” This is when a person (male or female) asks a celebrity for a retweet because they think the celebrity is hot, or it’s their birthday, or they want the celebrity to help them bring attention to a cause. There’s no real communication going on there. The person is using the celebrity to get attention and too many celebrities are indulging these people. Stop it!

I became aware of his problem during the 2012 Olympic Games. I love gymnastics so I followed the U.S. men’s team. I figured they could share insights and experiences from inside the games without the obnoxiousness teenage girliness that would be all over the women’s profiles, because well, they’re teenage girls. Unfortunately, the men flooded their feeds with retweets of girls telling them how cute they are. I understand they wanted to keep their fans happy and they appreciated the attention, but it added nothing to the online conversation and it was more insufferable than anything else.

I had the pleasure of talking with Gary Vaynerchuk this year. He said retweets like this are simply bragging and quite unattractive. I think the only time it’s ok to retweet what other people say about you is when you’re enhancing the conversation or sharing something that you suspect a significant portion of your followers will want to read. Otherwise, enjoy the attention by yourself. If someone wants to know what other people are saying to and about you, they’ll look it up themselves.

The novelty of Twitter has worn off. It’s just a tool to talk with people – not at them. If there’s a celebrity you want to talk to, engage them in a meaningful way. No one cares if you think they’re hot (we already know that) or you want them to wish your brother a happy birthday.

If you’re someone who has a strong following, please don’t encourage digital panty throwing by conceding to these requests for retweets. I know you’re awesome. Retweeting stupid requests from fans makes you look less awesome.

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What’s the Answer to Gun Violence in the U.S.?

Feb 5th, 2013
by Ruth Carter.
4 comments

Last week 70 year-old Arthur Harmon fatally shot Phoenix attorney Mark Hummels (age 43) and his client Steven Singer (age 48) following a settlement conference. The amount in dispute: $17,000. Both men are survived by a wife and two children each.

Candlelight Vigil by KOMUnews from Flickr

Candlelight Vigil by KOMUnews from Flickr

It breaks my heart every time I hear about a senseless shooting. This one literally hit close to home. I live about two blocks away from the office building where this shooting occurred. My dog and I regularly walk past it on our morning excursions. After the shooting, police closed the entire street to traffic for most of the day and helicopters thundered overhead. The next day, news crews dotted the property with their transmission vans to broadcast updates on the morning news.

The press will provide update reports about the funerals of the deceased, but then this story will be filed like so many shootings before it. Arthur Harmon died of an apparent self-inflicted gunshot so there won’t be a trial. We’ll all go with our lives while the surviving families grieve and try to find a way to move on. There are not words to express how sorry I am for them. Those men left for work that morning, probably never expecting that they wouldn’t be home for dinner that night.

And I’m left wondering, “What’s the answer? What can we do to prevent more senseless deaths from occurring?”

I’m pretty conflicted when it comes to regulating guns in this country. The problem isn’t with the guns as much as the gun owners. I applaud gun owners who are maniacal about safety – who keep their guns unloaded and locked up where others, particularly children, cannot get to them.

Some people argue that there should be more restrictions on what types of guns you can own. That will prevent people from legally purchasing some firearms, but will it stop any illegal gun sales? Some people say you should have to have liability insurance if you own a gun. I suspect that will create the same problem that we have with car insurance – just because the law says you need it, that won’t stop someone from illegally driving without it. The responsible people will comply with this requirement, but I suspect these are the same people who are maniacal about gun safety. Furthermore, this likely won’t stop a shooting but only provide compensation to the injured. It can’t bring a loved one back.

Then there are the questions about mentally ill people and guns. A law that prohibits gun ownership by anyone with a mental illness would be too broad. And what about people who weren’t mentally ill when they bought their gun but became violent due to mental illness? How do we get them to surrender their guns or not use them?

The only solution that makes sense to me is complete shift in the way our society views guns. Guns are tools for hunting and self-defense. They’re not the solution when you’re angry at someone.

If you hear about someone saying they’re going to kill someone, the proper response should be a forceful, “What the fuck are you talking about? Don’t do that.” Society should look down on anyone who voices such sentiments and turn their ass into the police as a potentially violent person. If you know who their intended target is, warn them. Likewise, if you know a gun owner who isn’t maniacal about gun safety, get on them about it. We shouldn’t have incidents where someone murders people because they easily stole a gun from a family member, acquaintance, or stranger.

If you want to attack someone, do it with your words. I’m not an advocate for physical violence, but if you go on the offensive against someone, use your fists. You may injure someone badly, but it’s less likely you’ll kill them.

My heart goes out to the families of the deceased and I’m frustrated we haven’t solved the gun violence problem in the U.S. Something needs to change before too many more lives are taken.

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My Thoughts on the American Health Care Problem

Jan 29th, 2013
by Ruth Carter.
9 comments

I have pretty strong beliefs about personal responsibility when it comes to health. As written, I don’t support Obamacare. It is program designed to make us more dependent on the government. When it comes to politics, I believe in less government, more personal freedom and responsibility, and that my money should be my money. I think most government and employer-provided health insurance should be eliminated and individuals should buy their own health insurance if they want it.

Stethoscope and piggy Bank by 401(K) 2013 from Flickr

Stethoscope and piggy Bank by 401(K) 2013 from Flickr

Here’s how health insurance works – when you buy an individual plan, the insurance company hopes that the amount they spend on your medical care will be less than what you pay into the plan. When you’re in a group plan (like through your employer) they hope the amount they spend on the group will be less than what the employers and employees pay into the plan. If you connect the dots, you’ll see that a group plan favors the sick and irresponsible because they pay less than what they’d pay for an individual plan and the insurance company can use the funds from the healthy people who don’t need much health care to offset the cost of paying for them.

I’m an entrepreneur. I pay for my own health insurance. I don’t want to pay for yours. Unfortunately, thanks to Obamacare, that’s exactly what I’ll be doing.

I’m a huge proponent of personal responsibility and taking responsibility for your actions. Since started to have employer and government-provided health insurance, I wonder if it’s led people to think that they can neglect their health because someone else will be picking up the tab. I wonder if people would change their habits if they had to directly endure the financial consequences for their bad health.

I think health insurance should be more like car insurance. If you always have to pay for it, you’ll budget for it in the present and the future. If we each had our own health insurance plans, we wouldn’t worry as much about losing our coverage if we lose our jobs or retire. If people planned for their financial future, maybe we wouldn’t need Medicare anymore. Additionally, health insurance companies would have to compete more for your business and might offer lower priced plans.

There is an argument that if everyone had to buy their own health insurance that the price would get so high that only a few could afford it. That could happen, but I suspect someone will find a way to offer a lower priced program and make more money by making less money per plan but selling more plans overall.

If health insurance was more like car insurance, your rate would be based on your habits and past behavior. This would encourage more people to be responsible for their health. If you want your car insurance rate to go down, you have to be a better driver. Likewise, if you want your health insurance rate to go down, you need to take better care of yourself.

I wonder if this country would have fewer health problems if we never had employer or government provided health insurance. The responsibility for one’s health would be on the person. If they wanted to be unhealthy – that’s their choice, but they’d also be responsible for the physical and financial consequences. And if a person chose not to get health insurance, that’s their prerogative. They can pay cash.

My idea comes with one exception: health benefits for the military. Our servicemen and women served our country and got many of their health problems from their service. We have an obligation to take care of them.

I know my idea has flaws. If we implemented my idea now there would be a significant portion of the population that couldn’t or wouldn’t get their own insurance and will use ERs for medical care. My plan also requires providing more education about maintaining your health – but if someone chooses not to apply the lessons to their life, that’s their problem.  The most we could hope for is some people will see people not make changes and make the personal choice to not repeat their mistakes.

I know I’m in the minority on this issue and it’s ok if you disagree with me. Feel free to share your views as a comment.

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A Year Without Holidays

Jan 8th, 2013
by Ruth Carter.
4 comments

When I was looking back at 2012, I noticed I didn’t celebrate many holidays last year. It made me realize that holidays serve as anchors and when you don’t celebrate them, it’s harder to notice the passage of time. Instead, the weeks just blend together.

In school, our lives were filled with anchors – the start of the semester, due dates for papers, exams, mid-semester break, between semester breaks, internships, and the holidays acknowledged by the school (Martin Luther King Day, Labor Day,  Thanksgiving, etc.). These somewhat continue to influence your life when you have kids. When you work for a traditional company where you work in an office, the days the company is closed for holidays are the anchors (Martin Luther King Day, Presidents Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day, Veterans’ Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s).

I work for myself so I declare the holidays the company celebrates with a day off. In my first year of business, the main weekday I didn’t work was my birthday. That is a tradition I intend to continue. When I did a summer internship with the Army JAG, the commanding officer in the office required his people to take off their birthday if they were single or their anniversary if they were married. I thought that was a great rule.

Captain Kirk Birth StoneI recently realized that most holidays aren’t important to me, and thus, I don’t celebrate them. I don’t drink, so the traditional drinking holidays do nothing for me (New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day, Cinco de Mayo). I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because I don’t need Hallmark to tell me when to tell someone I love them. I’m not religious so celebrating Easter seems sacrilegious. I enjoy my friends and family so I’ll use Memorial Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day to hang out with them – but even then I prefer low-key celebrations. I do send Mother’s Day and Father’s Day cards to my parents and call them on these Hallmark holidays. I’ve never been into Halloween so I tend to ignore it unless I’m attending a costume-required event. My family Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations are awesome, but even then I like that they’re mellow occasions. If I’m surrounded by too much fanfare, that’s not really fun for me.

I like my smaller dorky celebrations – like visiting an outer space themed restaurant on the Future Birthdate of Captain Kirk and getting together with people to eat pie on Pi Day. The other big events on my calendar are things like Ignite Phoenix and flash mobs with Improv AZ. These aren’t really anchors because their dates aren’t fixed, but those are probably the closest things to anchors I have.

Sometimes I wonder if not celebrating holidays makes me a scrooge, but I think it makes me an introvert who doesn’t need Hallmark, calendars, or societal pressure to know what days are important to me. I don’t mind if you celebrate holidays; they’re just not for me.

Simplify Simplify

Jan 1st, 2013
by Ruth Carter.
1 comment

One of my goals for 2013 is to simplify and de-clutter my life. My life is busy but for the most part already simple in terms of where I spend my time. I want to turn my attention toward reducing the amount of excess stuff I have in my life.

Regular Hangers

Regular Hangers

I started this project last year but I didn’t make as much headway as I would have liked. I managed to clean out my bathroom, jewelry boxes, and a few drawers. This year, I’d like to expand on that and clean out my drawers, files, books, and clothes.

I realized I have a lot of paper around me like flyers from events I’ve attended, business cards from people I’ve met, magazines and newspapers I meant to read, and billing statements that come in the mail. I want to make a concerted effort to get rid of things I don’t need and to keep papers from piling up in the house. Instead I’m going to use or record the information I need and get rid of the paper version.

Reversed Hangers

Reversed Hangers

A few years ago I did a major closet clean out where I tied a string around every hanger in my closet. When I wore a garment, I removed the string. Whatever still had a string on it at the end of the year was removed from my wardrobe. (Specialty items like fancy dresses and my snowsuit were exempt from this exercise.) I’ve since learned that the easier thing to do is to reverse all my hangers and flip them after I wear a garment. I’ve also created a checklist for my garments that are folded on shelves. Anything I don’t wear in 2013 won’t be with me in 2014.

I admire the people who limit themselves to 100 possessions. It must be freeing to have to keep track of so little. I don’t think I’d ever want to do that, but I want to apply their dedication to simplicity to my life.

Undeniable Recap of 2012

Dec 25th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
7 comments
Ruth Carter, ABA Legal Rebel

Photo by Don McPhee Photography

It’s been an incredible year! Looking back, so much has changed and so many wonderful things have happened for me this year – personally and professionally. I never could have predicted so many good things happening. Of course, I didn’t get here alone and I want to thank all the friends, family, and colleagues who helped make this year fan-fucking-tastic. It was hard to pick the top five events from this year, but here you go!

1.  Carter Law Firm Opened!  I opened my own law practice on January 4, 2012 and I’m happy to report that I’m still in business and haven’t been disbarred. It’s been an amazing year creating and building my own business with all the trials and tribulations that go along with that. I love my work and I’m so lucky that I get to build the professional life I’ve always wanted as the approachable geeky lawyer who wears t-shirts and does awesome work. I love that I’m building my niches in social media and flash mob law and being invited to do things like speak at major conferences.

ruthcover smaller2.  My First Book  I wrote and self-published The Legal Side of Blogging: How Not to get Sued, Fired, Arrested, or Killed. I’ve always wanted to write a book and all the pieces fell into place to make it happen. The book has been well received so far and appears to be opening the door for more books. Special hat tip to ePublish Unum for teaching me everything I know about self-publishing.

3.  ABA Legal Rebel  I’ve always looked up to the American Bar Association Legal Rebels, but in my wildest dreams I did not expect to be picked to join this illustrious group only months after becoming a lawyer. I’m tickled that they chose me because of my work in flash mob law.

Rosie!

Rosie!

4.  I Got A Dog!  Adopting Rosie from the Arizona Basset Hound Rescue was probably the biggest life changing event of this year. It had been years since I had a pet and because of her we go walking every day and I’m on a more structured schedule. She can melt my heart with one look and it was so hard to leave her at the kennel for a few days. I love the way she looks when she runs and how she howls at the phone.

5.  Half Marathon Personal Record  This may seem petty, but it was a big deal to me to finish the race under two hours. I was blown away when I heard I finished the race in 1:52. I’d never run that hard for so long before. It was a great experience to do so well.

 

Celebrity Encounters in 2012

 

Firsts in 2012

  • handstand bean1st trip to Chicago where I leave the airport – included my 1st ride on the L Train and my 1st visit to Cloud Gate (The Bean)
  • 1st trip to the Electronic Frontier Foundation
  • Bought my 1st Powerball ticket
  • 1st time using Survey Monkey and Mail Chimp
  • 1st time at Phoenix Comicon
  • 1st time owning a pet that wasn’t formerly a family pet
  • 1st business trip to San Francisco
  • Sent my 1st DMCA Takedown Notice
  • Put up my 1st yarn bomb
  • 1st trip to the ABA TechShow
  • 1st YouTube channel

In Memorium

  • Peg Grucky
  • David Malcolm

This has been an incredible year. I’m excited for what’s to come next!

Irresponsible Dog Walkers

Dec 18th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
4 comments

For anyone who doesn’t know, I got a rescue basset hound named Rosie this year. She’s awesome and I love her. We take a walk every day with the exception of days when there’s a dust storm or a rain storm. She’s a darling of the neighborhood. When we go walking, I wear a cross-body bag that holds her pooper scooper bags, a flash light, her water bottle, mace (in case we encounter a coyote), my phone, and my keys.

Shit by margaretshear from Flickr

Shit by margaretshear from Flickr

I’ve noticed there are three types of dog walkers in my neighborhood.

  1. Responsible Dog Walkers: These are the people who carry pooper scooper bags, pick up after their dogs, and put the waste into the trash can.
  2. Traditional Irresponsible Dog Walkers: These people walk their dogs and don’t carry pooper scooper bags. They let their dogs shit wherever they want and never clean it up.
  3. Nontraditional Irresponsible Dog Walkers: These people walk their dogs and carry pooper scooper bags. When their dog poops, they put it in a bag, tie off the top, and toss it to the side of the road.

The nontraditional irresponsible dog walkers baffle me. Their behavior remind me of highway clean-up crews that pick up trash and leave the full bags by the side of the road for the truck to pick up at the end of their shift. Only in this case, there isn’t a dog shit bag removal service in my neighborhood.

Dog poo bags by nicolasnova from Flickr

Dog poo bags by nicolasnova from Flickr

The worst part of cleaning up after your dog is picking up the poop itself – and even that’s not that bad. My regular route with Rosie is just under a mile and we walk out and back. There are 2 dumpsters and 4 communal trash cans along the way (not including the 3 trash cans in the park on the route). You have to walk maybe 2 blocks before you reach the next trash receptacle. There are also 3 bag dispensers on our route so if you forget to grab your pooper scooper bags when you leave the house, you can still clean up after your dog.

I don’t know who the culprits are – the traditional and nontraditional irresponsible dog walkers – but I hope they knock it off soon. It’s unsightly and disgusting.

I remember in high school they used to say if you can’t handle buying condoms, you’re not mature enough to have sex. Likewise, if you can’t handle cleaning up after your dog, you shouldn’t be able to have one.

They’re Just Nipples . . .

Nov 27th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
6 comments

Photo by Devon Christopher Adams

People who know me well know that I think bras are overrated. I don’t wear one a lot of the time. If you can pass the “pencil test,” you shouldn’t have to wear a bra in public.

What’s the pencil test? Start by taking off your shirt and your bra (if you wear one) and put a regular pencil at the base of one of your boobs (or man-boobs). Then let the pencil go. If your boob holds the pencil in place, you failed the pencil test. You’re not allowed to leave the house without a bra. If the pencil falls to the ground, you’ve passed the test. Your boobs hold themselves up so you don’t need to wear a bra.

I pass the pencil test most of the time. The only time I consistently wear a bra is when I’m working out and I need a sports bra.

I would go braless more often if it wasn’t for one small issue: nipples. Unless you’ve had a mastectomy, everybody has them. But for some reason, it’s a violation of a social norm if you can see a woman’s. (Note: If your top is see-through, you should always wear something underneath it professional settings. I’m only talking about close-fitting tops that show where your nipples are located beneath your shirt.) I was raised with the notion that it is inappropriate for a woman to “nip out” through their clothes in professional settings. That meant I was expected to wear a bra, and sometimes a padded bra if my office was really cold, to keep my nipples concealed.

Then I started to look around and I noticed that guys nip out all the time from under their t-shirts, knit and wicking shirts, and polo shirts. It’s not an issue or considered inappropriate when they do it, so why do we have a double standard for women?

I’m not turned on by the sight of anyone nipping out – male or female. However, one of my guy friends explained to me that when a guy sees a woman nipping out, it could be a sign that she’s sexually aroused and perhaps she’s sexually aroused because of the guy and that turns the guy on. Even if some people are turned on by others nipping out, it shouldn’t be a factor when it comes to women deciding if they need a bra.

Burlesque dancer Jazz Corsette says that everyone is someone else’s wet dream. Following her logic, I am somebody’s wet dream, and it probably gets better when I’m not wearing a bra. If that’s the case, please don’t tell me about it. When I don’t wear a bra, it’s because I want to be comfortable. It has nothing to do with you and it’s not a big deal. They’re just nipples.

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Rejecting Commercial Christmas

Nov 20th, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
2 comments

They’re playing non-stop Christmas music on the radio which is the universal indicator that the crazy portion of the holiday season has begun. I generally love the holidays, but I can’t stand the commercialistic beast that it’s become.

Dogs Fucking Hate Christmas by TheGiantVermin from Flickr

I don’t get it when I see news stories about people getting into fist fights over the last must-have toy for their kids, or people who line up on Thanksgiving afternoon to be first through the doors for the Black Friday sales. I try to have all my holiday shopping done before Thanksgiving so I can relax through December. If I shop on Black Friday, it’s for myself and for things I need, not moronic gadgets and gizmos that are only in stores 2 months a year. I try to avoid the crazies and the stupids as much as possible.

Speaking of gifts, I’m a huge fan of the gift list. I don’t shop for many people, but for those that I do, I like to get them things that they need or things they want and won’t buy for themselves. I prefer practical gifts, not stuff that’s going to end up on a shelf and collect dust. A lot of Christmas specials show that getting socks and underwear are the worst gifts a kid can get, but I’ve asked for underwear for Christmas before and I’ve given socks when they were requested.

Thanksgiving is coming up this week. I love my family’s Thanksgiving in Phoenix. First thing in the morning, a group of us go on a pre-Thanksgiving hike up one of the less popular mountains in our area. It’s a great park, with a big parking lot, and it’s not overly crowded with people or infested with bees.

In the afternoon, we gather at my aunt’s house. We prepare everything potluck style to keep one person from being overwhelmed. It’s very casual and relaxed. Nothing is forced and nothing is expected to be perfect – just good food and good company. We have a great mix of people with our extended family and a handful of Thanksgiving orphans. We try to keep things simple – and it works.

I’m looking forward to a mellow holiday season this year filled with friends, family, and amazing music. (I heart Christmas music – the good stuff like Trans-Siberian Orchestra.) I foresee a lot of laughter and joy in the next weeks.

If you happen to be one of the Christmas crazies, get away from me. I’m not buying into your program.

New Rule: The Law of Two Feet

Oct 31st, 2012
by Ruth Carter.
4 comments
Law of Two Feet by orcmid from Flickr

I’m making a declaration – The Law of Two Feet will apply to all aspects of my life for the entire month of November.

Law of Two Feet by orcmid from Flickr

I learned about the Law of Two Feet at my first Podcamp (now called TechPhx). At this unconference, it is perfectly acceptable to leave in the middle of a session if your needs aren’t being met in the session you’re sitting in. The responsibility is on you to get your needs met and to take action if that’s not happening.

Over the past few weeks I’ve found myself in situations where I realize 10 minutes into a meeting or an event that it’s not what I thought it was going to be and there was no benefit or point for me to be there. I wanted to leave, but I didn’t know how to excuse myself without feeling like I was being rude.

This month I’m going to figure that out. If I feel like my presence at a meeting or event was unproductive, I’m going to take myself somewhere else.

This is going to be like an assignment I got when I was taking improv acting at Jester’z. For a week we had to act on every impulse we had as long as it wasn’t going to get us fired or arrested. I was a 3L at the time so that week I walked out of meetings, wrote weird things on white boards, and randomly sat on tables.

This is going to be fun. Feel free to join me in this endeavor and let me know how it goes!

Darwin meets Dilbert: Applying the Law of Two Feet to your next meeting by opensourceway from Flickr

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