34 Things

In honor of my 34th trip around the sun, I thought I’d share 34 things about me you may not have known.

1. My favorite color is blue. My signature color is pink.

2. The only adrenaline rush adventure I won’t do again is ride in a hot air balloon. I rode in one once and had a strong urge to jump out when we were about 100 feet off the ground.

3. I won’t answer my phone when I’m naked unless I’m OK with the person calling seeing me naked.

4. I will buy a lottery ticket if the jackpot is at least $200 million.

5. I’m not Jewish, but I love the phrase “mazel tov.”

6. My favorite flower is the stargazer lily.

7. I know pi out to 10 decimal places (3.1415926535…).

8. I don’t have a green thumb. Don’t give me a houseplant because I will ignore it until it dies.

9. I am an existentialist.

10. I can and will untie your shoelaces with my toes.

11. It’s a sign of affection if I address you by first and middle name. The middle name I use for you may or may not be your legal middle name.

12. I don’t use my real name when ordering coffee.

13. My childhood babysitter gave me the nickname “Snicklefritz.”

14. My current cartoon alter ego is Vanellope von Schweetz from Wreck It Ralph. My previous one was Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.

15. I love British words like “spinster.”

16. Sometimes I speak with a British accent for no reason, and I’ll still claim to be from California.

17. If I warn you that I’m going to bite you, I will really bite you if you keep doing whatever you’re doing that’s annoying me.

18. I can’t stand having anything between my toes so I can’t wear flip flops or toe socks.

19. I hate valets. I don’t like letting strangers drive my car.

20. I failed my depth perception test. It’s funny to watch me try to parallel park.

21. I need to know your personality to find you attractive. That’s why I tend not to have crushes on celebrities – they’re just pretty faces because I don’t know what they’re like in real life.

22. I can’t guarantee I’ll shower every day.

23. I am a Starfleet captain – and yes I earned it. (Don’t ask me how, just accept it.) When I wear my Starfleet uniform in public (yes, it’s a uniform, not a costume), I expect to be addressed as “Captain” by those who know what it means.

24. Given the choice, I prefer to be called “sir” over “ma’am” and “Doctor” over “Miss.”

25. I’ve had 3 concussions. I’m sure that explains a lot. My head is so dented my friend calls it “the skate park.”

26. My all-time favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla.

27. I’ve had 14 body piercings. I’m currently down to 2.

28. I’d tattoo the bottoms of my feet a la Alan Rickman in Blow Dry if I wouldn’t walk it off.

29. Don’t feel bad if I don’t like your child. I hate 99.9% of all children.

30. I love the way I look when I sit “Indian style” but it’s really uncomfortable.

31. I strive to have all my Christmas shopping done before Thanksgiving.

32. Two of my biggest pet peeves are being late and getting lost.

33. I don’t like bacon maple doughnuts. I like bacon and I like maple bars, but not the combination of the two.

34. Despite all evidence to the contrary, I’m an introvert.