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August 1st, 2011:

Maybe I Gave A Kid Hope Today

ASU Law Students with Senator Kyrsten Sinema

I took a walk on the beach in California today.  When I was about a half mile from our camp, I started to wonder if I should be nervous because I was walking alone and wearing my “Legalize Gay” t-shirt.  I usually walk in the afternoon with my Dad, and I think it’s universally accepted that you never mess with a girl when she’s with her Dad.  I am a feisty person but I’m also small, and there are a lot of people who could take me in a fight.  And unfortunately, discrimination and hate crimes against members of the LGBT community continue to occur.

I started to wonder things like, “Should I be afraid?, ”“What if someone calls me a name?,” and “What if it’s a child?.”  I started to imagine scenarios of what could happen how I should respond, if at all.  I began to admire the strength and courage of the people who advocated for LGBT rights in the 1970’s and ‘80’s.  I’m sure the majority of the people on the beach weren’t concerned about other people’s reactions to their t-shirts.

Then I had a thought: What if there’s a 13 year-old gay kid on the beach who is on vacation from a conservative state or a conservative family, and all they hear is that homosexuals are perverts, sinners, and pedophiles?  What if they know that they’re gay and they have no gay role models or positive messages about homosexuality?  I wonder how good it would be for them to see someone wearing a gay-positive shirt in public without seeming to care about what anyone else said or thought.  Maybe I gave that child hope that they will someday live in a community where they will be accepted just as they are.

Today I was reminded that I have a responsibility to project a positive message to queer youth.  Just as I needed education, guidance, and support in my baby queer years, so do they.  The least I can do is not be afraid or ashamed of who I am.

Maybe I gave a kid hope today.

Or maybe I just took a walk on a beach.

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Recap of the July 2011 Arizona Bar Exam

I survived the July 2011 Arizona Bar Exam!   I never want to do that again.  I’m grateful for the love and support of my family, friends, and professional mentors during this time.  I wanted to share my top 5 tips of what I’m glad I knew or wish I knew going into the test.

  1. An assortment of Jolly Rancher candies

    Image via Wikipedia

    Eat a Filling Breakfast: We had to be at the convention center at 6:45am on Day 1 of the test and we weren’t going to break for lunch until 12pm.  In the week before the exam I did a breakfast experiment and found that oatmeal made with ½ cup water, ½ cup milk, raisins, sliced almonds, and brown sugar kept me full all morning.  I was so nervous on both mornings of the test that it was hard to force myself to eat, but I knew that would be better than getting half way through the morning and being starving.

  2. Sleep:  I’ve heard it takes the body 2 days to feel tired after a bad night of sleep so the night that really mattered was 2 days before the test.  I often have insomnia, especially when I’m nervous.  I took a sleeping pill 2 nights before the test to ensure that my body and brain would get adequate rest.
  3. Take the Free LunchASU did a very cool thing and provided lunch for us during the bar exam.  It was nice not having to worry about getting lunch in just over an hour and having to deal with the general public.  ASU even humored a superstition that many people in my class have and provided Jolly Ranchers for us.  It was also nice to see some friendly faces from the school.
  4. Prepare for Arctic Conditions:  When the Arizona Bar Exam is in Phoenix, it’s held at the convention center, and it’s freeeeezing.  I heard about this and wore jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweatshirt on Day 1.  By lunch, my lips were blue and I couldn’t feel the tips of my fingers.  I asked a proctor if we could raise the temperature in the room and she dismissed my request saying that “It’s always this cold.”  For Day 2, I wore a thicker fleece and I was more comfortable, thought by the end of the day, my feet had started to go numb.  I should have brought an extra long-sleeved shirt, fingerless gloves, and a lap blanket.
  5. Do What Works For You:  When I’m running in a race and being passed by other people, I often remind myself that I need to run at my pace.  The same idea works for the bar exam.  It didn’t matter how fast or slow the people around me were going.  There was no need for me to freak out when someone finished and walked out of the room with an hour left on the clock.  All that mattered was that I was thinking clearly and answering the questions to the best of my abilities, and ultimately passing.
Standardized Test

Image by biologycorner via Flickr

I gave it my all on this test.  When I walked out, I had no brain power left.  Since the test, I have been sleeping a lot and slowly been regaining my cognitive functions.  I’m glad that I’m spending my first week after the test on vacation where I don’t have to see anything related to law school or the bar exam.

To the loved ones of people taking the bar exam:  The best thing my family did for me during my bar prep was to give me space.  From the time I graduated until the bar exam, my family never called me.  I occasionally called them to let them know I was alive.  They knew to leave me alone and let me do what I needed to do.

I need to give a special shout out to the woman who went into labor during Day 2 of the New Jersey Bar Exam.  She calmly finished her exam, walked across the street to the hospital, and delivered a healthy baby boy 2 hours later.  You are a phenomenal person.  I hope the labor pains didn’t interfere with your ability to pass the test!

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